Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
I knew his thoughts had gone to where mine had, by the curve of his smile and the look in his eyes. “Okay.”
We found a spot in the middle of the dance floor, and the four of us moved together, swaying and laughing. I loved this moment with them. I loved that Romeo was having as much fun as we were, even though he was straight and men would move against him. I loved that he pulled me close and pretended to back his ass up against my groin. I loved that Mouse shimmied against Gage and smacked his butt playfully. I loved that Gage held me and kissed me and said, “Mine,” against my lips as he grabbed my rear.
This night had transported the four of us to the past, to those kids again, claiming one more piece of the dream we had all those years ago. Even if it felt different in the morning, even if real life would bear down on us again, we had this beautiful, perfect moment in time that was better than all the terrible things we had lived.
We stayed until the bar closed. Gage and I laughed and kissed in the back seat of the car service as a woman drove us home.
When we got there, we stumbled toward the bed together, stripping out of our clothes, before he sank inside me, a tangle of bodies and passion, hopes and dreams.
We came together all over the sheets, and then, as Gage held me close, I let myself think the words neither of us had said aloud since we’d gotten back together.
I love you.
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
Gage
The week before Thanksgiving, we finally hung out with Angel and Maria for Maria’s birthday.
I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t nervous and, well, there were other conflicting emotions too. I was caught between being hurt that Jojo put off the two of us spending time with his friends, and feeling the same. Mouse and Romeo, there was no way around, not that we wanted a way around them, but they were too sewn into our lives to avoid. Even Darrel was hard to avoid, as we lived on his property. The three of us barbecued together often and spent time doing yardwork.
Angel and Maria were outsiders. They weren’t a part of who we were, who we’d always been together. Letting them in deeper made us more real. Opening our circle gave us more to lose. I thought we were both waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for this slice of happiness to get taken away, because it had always gotten taken away. If he lost me, they would be two more reminders of what he’d had, people who asked about me or looked at him with pity because I’d broken his heart again.
So yeah, we were a bit of a mess, and I wondered if we always would be.
“You can tell them I’m sick and had to stay home,” I told Joey when it was almost time to go over.
His head snapped up. “What? No. Why would I do that? It’s not you, Gage. I didn’t spend time with them even before you came back into my life.”
“I know, but you’re getting better now.”
“Because of you.”
“No, because of you.” He was doing really well in therapy.
He rolled his eyes. “We’ll have to agree to disagree. All I know is I want you there. Me being weird has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me and my own issues.”
I walked over to where he sat at the table. He pulled me to his lap and wrapped his arms around me. “You make me feel again,” Jojo said.
“Feel horny?” I teased. “You already fucked me once today.”
“Stop playing when I’m being serious…but then play afterward because I like it. You always used to be silly like that.”
“You never used to be bossy like this.” I turned, kissed his head.
“Feeling again and letting others see it gives us more to lose.”
What he said made sense. I figured that was his train of thought. I felt the same. “We’re safe in our bubble. We’ve always been safe together, but when others find their way in, things get harder.” He nodded as if I’d gotten it right, and I added, “You make me feel again too.”
“It gets all cluttered in my mind sometimes—the fear of getting hurt and what I want. Moving forward and being happy where I am.”
“I know.” I kissed him. “I won’t hurt you.” I’d do anything not to hurt him again. It was my biggest regret.
Jojo looked almost sad when he answered, “I know.”
A little while later, we were pulling up to Angel and Maria’s house in Encino. It was a small one-bedroom with peeling paint on the outside, but as soon as we stepped inside, you could see how much they’d made it a home.