Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 82094 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 410(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82094 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 410(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Still, I throw myself into moving my hips with the girls, if at least to lose myself for a few hours.
I love Dallas at night. I love the downtown scene, I love the lights and the action, and I love not being cooped up in the manor. I’m glad the girls talked me into coming out with them tonight even if I am a little distracted. I need to forget about Carmine because he’s gone and it’s not like I want him to come back.
Just because he paid my father’s debts doesn’t mean I owe him anything, not even the time of day.
“I’m going to level with you,” Cassidy says as she leads me off the dance floor. “You’re bumming everyone out. Seriously, Brice, you’re like that Looney Tunes skunk with the ugly smell lines coming up off him, except your lines are just straight bad vibes.”
“Don’t be such a jerk,” I say but I’m laughing anyway because it’s a funny image. “I’m not being that bad.”
“No, you’re not,” she admits as we squeeze into a gap at the end of the bar and wait to get more drinks. “But you’re thinking about him. I can see it all over your face.”
“You cannot see that.”
“You have this expression like you’re desperate for something.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not thinking about him. I’m thinking about moving on.”
“You’re thinking about him and stop pretending like you’re not. Look, it’s not that I liked him or anything, although I did like his money—”
“You know where that money comes from, right?”
She laughs. “All money is blood money if you go back far enough.”
I grin and nudge her “Wow. Deep.”
“I’m just saying, it’s not that I like him or anything, but this is stupid. How long are you going to pine for this guy?”
“I’m not pining!”
A complete stranger standing next to me, looks over and shakes his head. “Girl, you are totally pining.”
Cassidy laughs at me and we hurry away before the guy decides it’s a good opening to start hitting on us. We end up back on the dance floor, without drinks, which is probably good because the alcohol I already guzzled down is making me a little giddy and tipsy. I throw myself into dancing this time, determined to prove my girls wrong, but there’s a voice whispering in the back of my head that Cassidy’s right, I am pining after this guy and I don’t even know why.
I must do a good job because after that nobody mentions my bad vibes and I actually manage to have some fun. Around one in the morning, we stumble out onto the street and hug each other as Sara and Robyn share an Uber. “You sure you’re good?” Robyn asks, gripping me tight. “You didn’t drink too much?”
“I’m fine, totally fine. I’m going back to my apartment with Cassidy.”
“Your apartment?” Sara asks and I get a rare smile from her. “That’s a good step.”
“She’s welcome whenever she’s ready to move back in,” Cassidy says and takes my arm. “Come on, we’re gonna walk. It’s not too far and I should probably burn off some of that champagne.”
We wave goodnight, and Cassidy and I hit the sidewalk. It’s a nice night, cool and only a little humid, with lots of stars in the sky and a big, fat full moon. Cassidy talks about her job and a guy she’s interested in, and I do my best to stay engaged as we get closer to the apartment.
I missed this. Living on my own, having a life with people that give a crap about me, working and paying rent and being normal for once. I want this life again, one where I don’t have to worry about my scammer dad or my grandfather going back to work when he shouldn’t. Moving back to the manor was a mistake, and staying so long was an even bigger mistake. I can feel myself getting sucked into that world and losing myself, turning into the old Brice, the perfect little obedient Brice that does nothing but obey the rules and do whatever Daddy says, but now that I’m in the city with Cassidy again, it’s like I’m coming back to myself.
Except there’s a new voice mingled with the old one. It’s Carmine’s voice, low and resonant, hungry and angry and gorgeous, whispering in my ear, telling me how the world isn’t clean, the world isn’t neat and orderly. The voice isn’t taking me over but I can’t act like I haven’t changed since we got together. Now I find myself noticing the dirt, the stains, the ugly detritus all around, and I can see the twisted streak in my own family. He opened my eyes to all this, and I hate him for it, and I’m grateful for it.
We reach the edge of the parking lot at the back of the apartment building and Cassidy slows. She’s chewing on her lip and looks uncertain about something, and I’m not sure what’s bothering her. She grabs my arm and tugs me to the side and we lean up behind a big truck parked on the side of the street, staring toward the entrance. “See them?” she whispers.