Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 58437 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 292(@200wpm)___ 234(@250wpm)___ 195(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58437 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 292(@200wpm)___ 234(@250wpm)___ 195(@300wpm)
“Fuck, thank you.” I could feel the tightness in my stomach loosening for the first time since I walked into the room. “It does feel good to tell someone. Only…I don’t know if the guys would understand. They’d probably think I was checking out their junk this whole time.”
Hollister got a strange look on his face that made my gut constrict again.
“Is that what you think?” I asked in a cautious voice.
“What?” He blinked. “No! I just never considered how much someone would have to hide. It would be so draining, and I’m sorry if I wasn’t there for you.”
“No way, dude. You totally have been.” I blew out a breath. “Sorry I didn’t confide in you sooner. It was like this ache in my chest, you know? Fear and worry and stuff. But also, desperate to be my true self, at least to some people.”
“I think I get it, man.” He threw an arm around me and pulled me into a hug, and it felt so good because I hadn’t been sure what his reaction was going to be, if this was the point where our friendship would fall apart. I should’ve known better. He was a good guy too. “Let’s get some sleep so we’re not exhausted tomorrow.”
The next day I was out of sorts, and Kellan could tell because he threw me a strange look. It was quiet on our way to the field, most guys still half-asleep, so I lifted my phone and texted him.
Hollister knows about me. We had a long talk last night after I returned to the room.
How?
He guessed. Asked me point blank why I went to your room.
Holy shit. Are you okay?
Yeah. It was a relief, actually. And don’t worry, he won’t give anything away about me and you. He doesn’t know much anyway, other than we’ve sort of become friends.
What did you tell him?
That I have an insane crush on a hot bat boy, but he barely gives me the time of day.
Liar. I give you plenty of my time.
And then some.
Ass.
Yes please.
I’m scandalized.
I looked down at my cell and smiled, imagining that pretty blush crawling across his cheeks from the flirting, but I didn’t want to look at him right then, not with Hollister beside me. So I put my cell away and focused on the road ahead.
We didn’t win our game, so the bus ride home was quiet.
I didn’t go sit with Kellan, although I should’ve just acted naturally. But it didn’t feel the same now that Hollister knew. He wasn’t treating me any different or anything like that, but a couple of times I caught him studying me, probably just trying to make sense of stuff himself. Regardless, I needed to get the hell off the bus already.
It was Sunday, so I usually went home to have dinner with my family, and I knew Kellan did too. We mumbled our goodbyes in the parking lot, him probably feeling as under the microscope as I did.
As soon as we got home and changed, I took off to be with my family, needing my own space, which Hollister seemed to understand if his tentative smile was any indication.
I caught up with my family, played catch with Ricky in the backyard, and by the time I helped set the table and dinner was served, a solid couple of hours had gone by. The time and distance helped me put everything into better perspective. I could be me with people I cared about, and if they didn’t understand, then at least I was finally going to live honestly.
But, baby steps.
“You okay, honey?” Mom asked, placing her hand on my wrist. “Looks like you’re miles away.”
“Yeah, I…” My chest throbbed all over again, and all I wanted to do was get this—whatever this was—out. I suddenly didn’t care about the baby steps. The cat was already out of the bag, so to speak, and I needed to spill it all before this secret ate me alive. “I need to tell you something.”
Dad placed down his utensils, warily. “What is it, son?”
“I know you’ll love me no matter what…but…”
“Oh God, you’re scaring us,” Mom said. “Just get it out, and we’ll deal with it no matter what it is.”
“I…well, okay.” I thought I was going to hyperventilate, so I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. Jesus, why was this so hard? “I have feelings for someone.”
“Brady has a crush?” Ricky asked, and I could see his wheels spinning like they always did because he was super smart when it came to figuring stuff out. “Is it Kellan? He’s a cool guy.”
“Ricky, no, Brady’s not—” Dad began, but I cut him off.
“Maybe I am…gay, that is. That was what you were going to say, right?”
Holy fuck, I thought I might die, the way my pulse was beating so erratically. I could feel my parents staring at me, but I couldn’t look them in the eye right then.