Total pages in book: 180
Estimated words: 179189 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 896(@200wpm)___ 717(@250wpm)___ 597(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 179189 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 896(@200wpm)___ 717(@250wpm)___ 597(@300wpm)
She can’t help it. She doesn’t know any better, and forgetting makes it impossible to blame her. But it’s also frustrating that I can’t ever tell her the truth. She wouldn’t believe me, even if I tried.
“Not needed.” The sudden booming voice coming from the kitchen area has me spooked, but then I realize who it is.
“Flynn?”
He walks out with two cups of coffee in his hand, setting one down next to Ma. “What are you doing here?” he growls.
“Hi to you too,” I say, turning to face Lesley, who’s half-shocked by the sight of my brother. I’m not sure whether it’s because of his entrance or because of his looks. He’s outdone me in the genetics department on the latter … but not on the charm. Obviously.
“Lesley, Flynn … Flynn, Lesley,” I say, shrugging. “Great to introduce you like this.” I grimace at my brother. “I told you I’d come visit.”
“Yeah, well … should’ve done it sooner,” he says, frowning at me as he sits down in one of the chairs to sip his coffee. “Ma’s been asking about you. A lot.”
“Do we have to do this now?” I say, sighing.
He raises a brow. “You know what I think.”
“Yes, and please don’t remind me.” I shake my head and enter the kitchen, yelling, “Les, want a cup?”
“Yes, please,” she answers politely.
“Who are you?” I hear my mother ask again, and I roll my eyes.
She’s probably talking to Lesley.
“I’m Lesley, ma’am. I work for your son, TJ. It’s so nice to meet you.”
“Oh …” Ma sounds flabbergasted. Like she can barely keep up, despite being told who Lesley was before.
With a full head, I make some coffee, dreading the moment I have to step back into that room. I don’t fear it because I hate it. I fear it because the hopelessness of her situation fills me with incredible sadness. Whenever I see that lost look on her face, I just feel so powerless. It’s as if all our memories—the history of us and our family—is slowly being erased.
But there’s no point in thinking about it. It’s happening, and I can’t do anything about it.
When the coffee’s made, I pour two cups and bring them out again, giving one to Lesley. She thanks me with a smile and I set mine down on the table before sitting down too.
It’s grown quiet, and all we do is stare at each other … while my mother drifts off into the distance like she always does. I doubt she even knows why we’re here.
This is the point when she returns to the place before she got the illness.
A point in time when we were all still so naïve.
“TJ, shouldn’t you be helping your pa with the marketing?”
“Ma …” I sigh, letting my head drop because I’m losing it again.
I can’t keep doing this.
This is why. This is the reason I’ve slowly stopped visiting. I can’t face this.
“Just tell her, dude,” my brother says.
“If it’s so easy to you, you do it,” I snarl.
“She asked you,” he snarls back.
I slam down my cup. “You know damn well this has nothing to do with me. Not anymore.”
He stands up from his chair like a bulldog, barking at me, “At least I’ve been here, taking care of her!”
I get up and march forward. “And I took over the company when you ran off to be a playboy!”
“Boys, please …” Ma mutters, but barely anyone can hear her, and Flynn’s booming voice overshadows hers.
“Don’t you dare bring that into this conversation.” He points at me. “I did my best to cope with the situation while taking care of our mother, while you’re too busy to see her waste away in here. Get your head out of your ass.”
“At least I’m still making something of my life and doing what Pop thought was best for us!” I shout back.
Lesley jumps up from her chair and steps between us, focusing on me. “Hey, hey now. Calm down, boys.”
“He’s the one who jumped me,” I sneer.
“Because you can’t be bothered to answer your own mother and face her, goddammit,” he says.
“Guys …” She places a hand on both our chests, trying to separate us. “Stop!”
I’m fuming. Literally. My nostrils are flaring, but his are too.
“Tell him that,” I hiss.
“You’re using your girl as a middleman now?” He snorts.
“Shut up. Both of you,” Lesley says. “You’re brothers, goddammit. Treat each other with respect.”
She has a point there.
“Think about your mother,” she adds, and it immediately tugs at my heart.
I force myself to look away.
“Sit. Down.” Her commanding voice is enough to move me.
I’m not one to back down often, but for her and for the sake of peace between my family, I’ll do it. Even if it means conceding. Mother shouldn’t have to see this.
My brother sighs out loud and helps Mom drink coffee while I rub my forehead and think about my sins. I know I should’ve come sooner. I know. I know full well I haven’t, and what it’s done to our bond. Not that it’s been much lately, but still. It was better than this. And it’s my fault.