Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 79607 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79607 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Any hope that I had dies the moment we pull up to the house and Asher’s truck is nowhere to be found. My pulse quickens as I punch in the code and walk inside. I can smell the faint trace of his cologne, and I can’t figure out whether it’s real or just my desperate mind willing it to be.
I go straight for the media room. His bag is gone. I check the hall closet that he sometimes used—nothing but sheets and blankets—and right here and now, I know he’s gone for good. Only this time, it’s so much worse. He let me fall in love with him. And he let me have just a taste of what it felt like to be loved by him, too. Then he took it away, leaving that hole inside of me even hollower than before.
I don’t know what it is—the weight of everything hitting me at once, or maybe just the lack of sleep—but I break down. Tears flood my face before I even feel them coming.
“He’s gone,” I cry, turning around, and Natalia’s in front of me in an instant, bringing my head to her chest and shushing me like a child as she runs her hand down the back of my head in a soothing gesture. “Why did I let it happen again? Why do I do this to myself?” I knew I was playing with fire. I was bound to get burned. But rebellious hearts know no consequences. Bad habits are easy to make and impossible to break, and Asher was the worst addiction of them all. I let him crawl inside my body, and he burned me from the inside out, leaving nothing but ashes in his absence.
“Bry,” Dash says in a hushed tone, and then I feel his hand on my shoulder. I turn to face him, and he pulls me in under his arm. I hug his waist to keep from slumping to the floor. I’m just so tired. Tired of lying, tired of sneaking around, of being hurt, of trying to please everyone.
“Why would Dad send him away?” I ask through the lump in my throat. “None of this makes sense.”
Dash kisses the top of my head and squeezes my shoulder.
“I don’t fucking know, but I’m going to find out.”
He says it with such conviction that I don’t doubt him for a second. And even though Asher is gone and nothing in my world seems good, I take comfort in the fact that I have my brother on my side. Someone who loves Asher as much as I do.
“Listen to me,” Dash says with more authority than I’m used to hearing in his voice. “I know you’re upset, and I know that everything is fucked up. But, I need you to get some rest. I’ll make you something to eat, and then you need to sleep.”
I don’t argue, because I know he’s right. Only I don’t know how I’m supposed to sleep when my whole world was just turned upside down. Natalia follows me to my room, and I pull out my favorite bloodstained T-shirt before climbing into bed and curling up in a ball on my side. Nat settles in behind me. We lie in silence for a while, waiting for Dash, as she plays with my hair—my occasional sniffle or hiccup the only sounds. I must be a pathetic sight right now, crying into Asher’s T-shirt as my best friend tries to console me, but I’m too pathetic to even care in this moment. My head hurts from crying—or the fall, or maybe both—and my stomach growls, reminding me that I haven’t eaten since yesterday afternoon.
I close my eyes, pretending that Ash is still here. He’d sneak into my room and wrap his arms around me, telling me that everything would be okay. That no one else matters but us. If I try hard enough, I can feel his breath on my neck and his stubble against my cheek. Eventually, exhaustion beats heartbreak, and I feel myself drifting off to sleep with Asher’s ghost.
Chapter 15
Asher
One week later…
“The fuck!” I groan, my voice hoarse as hell as I’m woken up by freezing water being sprayed on me. Where the fuck am I, and why is it so bright? I shield my eyes from the sun with my forearm and survey my surroundings. I’m in someone’s front yard, facedown in the grass. Not just anyone’s lawn—Dare’s—and he’s standing over me with the hose pointed in my direction.
“Morning, Sunshine,” he deadpans. I have a solid thirty seconds of being blissfully unaware before I remember why I’m here and the events that led up to it. I ran, literally ran, the four miles from the hospital to Adrian’s place. Hopped in my truck, drove to Briar and Dash’s to grab my shit, and then hit the highway, heading straight for River’s Edge. I showed up at Dare’s door twelve hours later, then told him about the last couple of months, while I drank myself into oblivion. How did everything get so fucked up?