Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 126602 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 126602 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
“Um, well, to start, my nana died,” Shayla said, biting the tremble in her lip as her eyes watered again. “Which I don’t think I’ve processed yet, so that’s kind of hitting me full on right now. My parents had to go out to Ohio to take care of things for my pop, so I’ve been left in charge of my brothers while they’re gone. I think I told you about them, right?”
I lifted my chin.
I knew she had brothers. Two of them, both younger.
“Well, I’m basically ruining their lives,” she informed me. “And this is not me being dramatic either. I keep messing up. I’m pretty sure Dominic hates me, and Eli…he’s too sweet to hate me, but if he could, he would. I keep forgetting things. Dominic had to miss his practice because I brought him the wrong equipment. Eli missed his therapy. Dom gets tutored after school—I didn’t even know about that, and I’m pretty sure he’s failing in math. I felt like an asshole when his teacher called me about it, and Dom…he doesn’t think anybody cares, which isn’t true, but I’m not doing anything to make that better. I’m oversleeping and making them late because I’m not thinking about stupid Friday traffic. And today was the absolute worst. Eli had a field trip this morning he couldn’t go on because we were late, and his face, God, he was so sad. So upset with me. So disappointed. Everyone is. I’m overwhelmed and I’m scared to tell my mom how badly I’ve messed up, because she has so much going on, you know? With my dad and Pop. I don’t want to let her down, but I can’t do this. I can’t.” She whimpered and shook her head. “And I miss my nana. I feel like everything is falling apart, and I’m just making things worse.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, and I watched fresh tears fall past her cheeks.
“Seems like a lot for one person to handle,” I said, drawing her eyes to me again.
“My mom handles it.”
“She’s also probably used to handling it. And it ain’t like your brothers just need you to take them to school and pick them up. It sounds like they got a lot goin’ on.”
Her shoulders jerked as she wiped at her face. Shayla wasn’t hearing me, and I needed her to hear me. I didn’t want her feeling this.
“You ever take care of anyone before?” I asked her.
She shook her head. “Just myself. And I had a fish once, but I killed it.”
My brows lifted.
“Accidentally,” she offered shyly. “He, uh, didn’t survive my last move. I’m pretty sure the cause of death was stress.”
“Good to know you ain’t a murderer, but I’m not talkin’ about pets.”
“Pets are people to some. Didn’t you ever have a pet before?”
“No.”
“Never?”
I shook my head.
“Well, that’s just sad,” she said. “Everyone should at least have a fish.”
“Not everyone,” I muttered, referring to me but watching Shayla’s eyes widen and light up a second before her mouth started twitching, I realized she thought I was referring to her, and instead of taking offense to what I’d just said, she was finding it amusing.
Her mouth was threatening a full-blown smile, and I knew once that happened, I’d forget my point and spend the rest of my time out here staring, leaving Shayla to feel that guilt and continue feeling it.
I didn’t want that, so I kept my focus, meeting her eyes again and repeating, “I wasn’t talkin’ about pets. You ever take care of another person before?”
“No,” she answered, smile no longer threatening. “Just me.”
“There you go.”
“That doesn’t matter. I should be able to handle this. I’m not a kid.”
“I didn’t say you were. But when you go from only lookin’ after yourself to lookin’ after other people overnight, that change can be a lot. It’d be a lot on anyone. Not just you.”
“I don’t know,” she whispered, closing her eyes through a breath.
“Look, I’m sure your mom knows what all she’s askin’ of you. I’m bettin’ if you said something about it bein’ too much, she’d understand that.”
“I really don’t want to do that, though,” she said softly, peering up at me.
I planted my forearm on the roof of the car, bent closer, and told her, “Sounds to me like you ain’t got a choice.”
I knew I was only speaking the truth, but hearing those words come out of my mouth, tasting them, something felt…off. I didn’t like this being her reality. I didn’t like what this was doing to her. If Shayla didn’t want to tell her mom, I didn’t want her making that call either. Not if it meant feeling like a failure, which was the vibe I was getting from her right now.
Fuck.
I wasn’t just getting up in her business, I was staying up in it. I was getting involved.