Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 71289 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 356(@200wpm)___ 285(@250wpm)___ 238(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71289 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 356(@200wpm)___ 285(@250wpm)___ 238(@300wpm)
However, I’d been hearing for years that the medication I was on practically rendered me infertile.
And I’d just once wanted to feel normal.
Why was that so fucking hard?
And then this happens.
My eyes went down to the paperwork in my hands.
Do not take this medicine if you are considering becoming pregnant.
Cleft lip. Heart problems. Genital malformations. Brain defects.
Jesus Christ, what had I done?
Chapter 10
Can you see the ‘fuck you’ in my smile? I put it there just for you.
-Kitt to Apple
Apple
I watched her walk out of the hospital, her fourth visit this month, and wondered if I’d ever work up the courage to talk to her.
The one and only time I’d tried she’d completely shut me down.
Which I suppose I deserved.
I laughed humorlessly. No, there was no supposing about it. I did deserve it. Immensely.
Even more, I deserved to be shot for getting her pregnant in the first place.
Had I known then what I knew now, I wouldn’t have touched her at all.
I never wanted her to know those dark secrets. People looked at you differently. And I never, ever, wanted to see that look on her face as she looked at me that night after she’d found out what I’d done.
God, man. I spoke to my best friend. What a state I’m in. If you were here, you would’ve slapped me upside the head by now and showed me just how stupid I’m being!
I spoke to my best friend a lot. He was sort of my voice of reason during my trials of stupidity.
Or when I didn’t think I could make it through the day.
Those days were coming less and less lately, though. Thank God.
“What are you doing here?” A soft, feminine voice asked.
I turned to find Kitt standing directly behind me. How’d she’d gotten there, I didn’t know. She must’ve walked around the parking lot, seen me, and then doubled back.
All while I was talking to my imaginary friend.
“Nothing,” I lied.
She stared at me.
“You’re full of shit,” she said. “What are you really doing here?”
I shrugged. “Making sure you got here alright.”
She narrowed her eyes.
“Why didn’t you just offer to take me if you were going to come anyway?” She challenged.
I stiffened. “You know why.”
“No,” she denied, stopping me before I could get on my bike. “I don’t know why. Don’t you think if I did, I wouldn’t be so confused about this? About us?”
I sighed.
“I committed the greatest act of blasphemy by killing my best friend. If anyone ever found out, I’d be prosecuted, sent to jail, and tortured every day of the rest of my life because I was once a cop,” I challenged her.
Her eyes widened.
“Yeah,” I said. “I can see you’re getting it.”
She shook her head.
“Wait,” she said urgently.
But I didn’t wait. I couldn’t.
Not with the way her eyes held pity…and understanding.
No, not right now.
Maybe next week. Maybe next week I’d have the courage to talk to her.
Maybe next week I’d be able to go inside.
***
Two weeks later
I opened the door of the clubhouse and grimaced almost immediately.
Not because anything was amiss, but because the woman that wouldn’t get off my mind was standing there, talking to all of the women.
“Oh, good!” Lenore, Griffin’s wife, cried. “We need you to take us to the store.”
“What store, and why?” I asked warily, trying to keep my eyes off of Kitt while I addressed Lenore.
It was tough, seeing as Kitt was standing next to Lenore, and Lenore paled in comparison to Kitt.
Kitt’s hair was down today, flowing down her back.
She was wearing a tight white shirt, and I could clearly see the outline of her new pants. One’s that I’d seen her buy last week, even though she hadn’t seen me.
Her face was free of makeup, and her eyes were on me like I was the last breath of air in the middle of a raging inferno.
“The grocery store,” Annie answered, throwing her jacket around her shoulders. “We’re going to cook brisket for the party tomorrow.”
I blinked.
“You called me over here to tell me you needed a ride to the store?” I asked.
They nodded.
All except Kitt, who was staring at the two women on either sides of her like they were crazy.
And they were.
“Y’all realize I was at work, right?” I asked them.
Kitt winced.
“Griffin and Mig told us to call you if we ever needed anything. And we need a ride,” she replied defensively. “We’ve had too much to drink.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose.
“Well,” I said. “How about you wait until you sober up and then go?” I suggested. “I have to go back to work. Lose my number unless you actually need something.”
I caught Kitt’s eyes on the way out, and I swear I saw laughter there.
I’d just made it down the stairs to the under house parking that was underneath the clubhouse when Kitt caught up with me.