Total pages in book: 25
Estimated words: 23271 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 116(@200wpm)___ 93(@250wpm)___ 78(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 23271 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 116(@200wpm)___ 93(@250wpm)___ 78(@300wpm)
I nod.
“I know, but we talked about our lives, and where we were at when this first started. I thought I was totally clear that I’m not looking for a relationship, and you said that you weren’t either.”
Mark paces even faster while running one hand through his black locks in an agitated manner.
“I know I said that,” he growls. “But that’s before I got to know you, Freya. I got to meet you and talk to you, and now, I want more than just some arrangement where I come over and pound you in the ass. I want to expand the boundaries of our relationship. Heck, I want to acknowledge that we’re in a relationship, instead of just thinking of you as my ‘fuck buddy’ because actually, I don’t think of you as that. I think of you as my girlfriend.”
I wilt a little even as my heart goes soft.
“Oh Mark,” I say in a low voice. “I’m so sorry.”
He whirls on me again.
“I’m sorry? Is that all you have to say? Why, am I such rancid meat that you won’t even consider a relationship with me?”
Tears spring to my eyes as I shake my head.
“Of course not,” I say in a soft voice. “You’re absolutely a man that I, and many other women, would love to date. But just not at this moment in my life,” I say.
“Why not?” he practically howls, clutching his head now. “What’s wrong with me?”
I swallow hard as the tears begin to run down my cheeks.
“It’s not you. It’s because I’m pregnant, and I’m expecting a child, and I wanted to do this alone. I know it takes a village to raise a child, yada yada yada, but in this case, I made a conscious choice to go it alone, and I want to stick with my original plan. I know it makes no sense to you, and it probably makes no sense to a lot of people, but that’s just what I want.”
Mark stares at me.
“That’s bullshit,” he says in a flat voice. “You can just say it, Freya. You’re not interested in a relationship because you don’t feel that way about me.”
My heart leaps into my throat at the wrongness of those words, and I shake my head no.
“That’s not true,” I say quickly. “I promise it’s not true. But I also don’t want to force you to be in a relationship with me because right now, everything’s relatively easy. Trust me, the child’s not here yet, so the hardest things are cooking me dinner and shepherding me to the doctor’s office. But once he’s here, everything’s going to change, and I don’t want you to freak out. The child is going to be a huge destabilizer, and to be honest, I’m going to be sore, achy, grumpy, moody, and not a lot of fun. You don’t need that, Mark. You deserve better.”
The handsome man stares at me like I’m crazy.
“But you won’t even give me a chance? You won’t let me try and figure it out for myself?”
I shake my head.
“No, because the heartbreak would be too much. I would hate to be postpartum, potentially suffering from depression, with a squalling baby in my arms while a man walks out of my life. You understand, right? I’m not going to let myself get into such a compromised position, so I’m making that choice now. That’s what I need to do to protect myself.”
Mark shakes his head.
“You’re insane, Freya. Bat-shit crazy.”
I open my mouth to protest, but think twice of it and nod.
“Maybe, but I have an even crazier proposition for you, if you want to hear it.”
He stares at me.
“I can’t imagine anything more insane than what’s happening right now. I mean, what are you going to do? Tell me that the baby’s talking to you through the womb? That you can literally hear his thoughts and that you’re communing on the same wavelength?”
“No,” I laugh, even through my tears. “Although yes, sometimes I feel like he can talk to me.”
Mark snorts, although the mood in the room has lightened somewhat.
“What is it then?”
I take a deep breath and meet his eyes. Again, this man is so gorgeous that I have a half a mind to keep my mouth shut, but I force myself to push ahead.
“Well, I mentioned a long time ago that I’d go to sex parties to get my craving for backdoor love satisfied, right? Of course, I haven’t been in a long time,” I add quickly. “Not since I met you. But I think it could be good for us to go together to one of those parties? They’re safe, sexy, and a lot of fun.”
Mark squints at me, disbelief written all over his handsome features.
“Are you shitting me? You want to attend a sex party together as a couple? What’s that going to do for us?”