Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 143382 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 717(@200wpm)___ 574(@250wpm)___ 478(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 143382 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 717(@200wpm)___ 574(@250wpm)___ 478(@300wpm)
“Right,” I agreed with Luna. “So, he’s open, has no trouble sharing, doesn’t regret his divorce because he loved his wife, and said he’d regret not giving it a shot with a woman he loved. He listens. He’s great with silence. And I fell asleep in his arms in my bed.”
“Awesome,” Harlow whispered, over her slight tiff about the door, her dark-brown eyes were shining bright and happy.
“Then I woke up and he was gone. No note. No text. And I’ve been awake for two and half hours. Still no text or call.” I threw up my hands. “I mean, what the fuck is going on with this guy?”
“Have you, per chance, asked?” Raye queried hesitantly.
“No, because then he might tell me we’re just friends,” I returned.
“Which means, you asking puts your ass out there that you want more, only for him to say he doesn’t,” Luna added.
“Exactly!” I cried. At this point, the server put my latte down, and I didn’t look at her as I said a heartfelt, “Thank you,” picked it up and took about seven sips.
In other words, I was in such a tizzy all morning, I hadn’t bothered making myself a mug o’ joe.
“Maybe she needs a mimosa,” Raye suggested, eyeing me.
I put my mug in its saucer. “I don’t need a mimosa. I need my senses sharp when we talk to Jeff’s buds.”
The server took off.
“You want me to ask Cap to feel Eric out?” Raye offered.
“No. I don’t want Cap in the middle of this,” I refused.
Translation: I didn’t want Cap to know I had it bad for his colleague. That would be embarrassing. And it’d suck. Because then I’d have to start avoiding Eric, and Cap, and all of them, which would mean I’d need a new job because they all showed at SC on the regular.
Raye read my translation so she remarked, “This isn’t high school, Jess. You aren’t fifteen, neither is Eric. You can both survive knowing where you stand and sharing the same friends and eventually getting over it.”
“Thanks so very much, Ms. I-Got-My-Hot-Guy-So-I’m-Never-Gonna-Be-In-That-Kind-Of-Shit-Place-Again,” I retorted.
“It is a yucky place,” Harlow asserted. “I mean, sure, they’d both get over it. But it wouldn’t be fun until that happened.”
“You’re in a mood, so I hesitate to say this, but it has to be said,” Luna began.
I swung narrowed, warning, indeed-I-am-in-no-mood eyes at her.
She ignored my narrowed, warning, indeed-I-am-in-no-mood eyes and kept going.
“Has it occurred to you that it’s you playing games by talking about all this deep shit with this guy you like, who seems to find a lot of excuses to be in your space, but not asking pertinent questions, like, ‘Are you into me?’”
“I didn’t want to say it, but…yeah,” Harlow switched teams and whispered her accord with Luna’s assessment.
“I mean, the man is hardly giving off mixed signals,” Luna remarked. “And, babe, love you, you know it. But you are.”
Wait.
What?
“I am?”
“Kinda…totally,” Raye put in.
I looked to Harlow, and she didn’t verbally confirm. She stretched her lips out and turned them down. Which was nonverbal confirmation.
“Women get into this place where they think the man has to do all the work,” Luna declared. “Like, he has to be the one who texts. He’s gotta be the one who swings his ass out there. When, you know, he’s human too, and it doesn’t matter if you’ve got a vulva or a dick, getting shot down is no fun. The thing is, he keeps putting himself out there, and you’re not shooting him down, but you also don’t seem to be letting him in. I mean, on Thanksgiving, you said he was about to kiss you. When he left for the night and chucked you under the chin, before he did that, did you make it clear you wanted a goodnight kiss?”
“I was sleepy, he’d woken me up so I could lock up after him,” I defended.
“So that’s a no,” Raye remarked.
“I have to be giving off a vibe he can read,” I asserted.
“Jess, again, love you, you know it, but you’ve got resting ‘fuck off’ vibes,” Luna replied. “Eric’s got it going on. But I’m still surprised he had the balls to make a play in the first place.”
“You kinda do. With the ef off vibes,” Harlow said cautiously. “It’s only when you let people in where you realize how amazing you are.” She continued hurriedly, “I get it. With your folks. Guarding your heart and being careful who you let in. But I never got it before, you know, until yesterday when you gave us the full skinny about them. You’d always just told me your relationship with them was difficult. You never gave me the full story.”
Now she looked hurt.
Because I’d hurt her.
And she was right to be hurt.
They all were.
Crap, I’d built walls around myself, even with my besties, when there was absolutely zero reason to keep them out.