Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 47107 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 236(@200wpm)___ 188(@250wpm)___ 157(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 47107 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 236(@200wpm)___ 188(@250wpm)___ 157(@300wpm)
I gave her a sad smile. “How much hurt can we take?”
“Oh, Ava. Honey.” She wheeled all the way in, locking both sides, and reached for me. She cupped each side of my face, and she looked right at me. Eye to eye. Intense. “I don’t know what he’s done to bring this on, or if he’s done anything. Maybe you’re just running blind, but no matter you’re the only one that can judge that. If he did something, can you understand why he did it? It’s only until you understand what he did or why he did it before you can make a decision moving forward.”
Her words cut through me because I didn’t know why he did what he did. I never asked.
“And if he didn’t do anything? If I’m just running blind?”
Her hand fell to mine, and she squeezed lightly. “Then it’s time you stopped running because I can see how much he loves you. I can see how much you love him, and isn’t it worth a try?”
“What’s worth a try?”
“A try at being happy? Isn’t it worth it?”
26
AVA
I was waiting on the golf course when Zeke arrived. I’d been sitting down but stood when he got closer, frowning at me and carrying what I’d asked him to bring. He held it up. “Why’d you want me to bring this beer?”
My palms were sweating. I wiped them over my shirt, nodding to the bottle in his hand. “That’s the beer you were drinking the night I accidentally walked here?”
His face was closed off, but he nodded again. “Why’d you want me to bring this again?”
“Because.” I reached for it, opened it, and took a sip before passing it back to him. “That was the night I thought everything was ending. Do you remember?”
He kept watching me, his eyes narrowed, but said, “Yes.”
“Well. I liked the beer. I never told you, but I think that’s my favorite beer.”
“Okay.” His head cocked back. There was a slight softening around his eyes, but his mouth was still firm. “What are we doing here, Ava?”
“We—” I was so nervous. I gestured down. “Can you sit? Can we sit?”
He looked around, but it was after dark. The course was supposed to be closed, and I had called to make sure there wouldn’t be a late-night party. “You like to golf.”
He snorted, but sat and leaned back, stretching his legs out. “I golf. I don’t know if I like it. It’s one of those sports you grow up doing and you have to keep doing because everyone in your world does it. I like drinking when I golf. I do like that.”
I nodded, my stomach still doing somersaults. “Right. That’s good.” I looked around because I thought I had all of this planned. It wasn’t going how I thought it would go. Then again, I’d never done something like this before.
“Ava.”
I paused and looked over. He’d said my name so softly. “Yeah?”
“What are we doing here?”
“I’m trying to do a new leaf thing. And I’m trying to apologize for earlier.” I held his gaze. “For what I said, especially at the end.”
“That was this morning.”
“I know.”
“Where were you all day? You didn’t go to any of your jobs.”
I frowned. “How do you know?”
“Because I scoped them out, all day. You never showed, and they wouldn’t tell me anything.”
“Oh.” A nervous laugh slipped out of me. I started rocking, self-soothing. “I called in to the stables, said I needed a self-care day. Then I went and had lunch with my mom and she, well, she changed my mind about everything.”
“Everything?”
I nodded, a firm one. “Everything.”
He tilted his head to see me better, and I was beginning to feel warm from the look in his gaze. They were knowing, somber, but also kind. He was giving me the look he’d done when he saw me walking drunk here and when he took me to his place, and when he gave me food, and when he held my hand after my grandmum died, and all the other times that I hadn’t branded to my memory. I was doing that now.
“I overreacted—”
“No, you didn’t.”
I paused.
He leaned forward, his head still turned my way and I realized that Zeke never looked away from me. He always had his eyes on me. Steadfast. “I poked a bear this morning, and I might have to keep poking it to make sure it doesn’t poke me back. You don’t know the reason, but—”
“I don’t need to,” I rushed in, cutting him off and my hand laid on his arm. “I don’t need to know the reason you did what you did. I don’t even know all the details, just that you went to someone’s house, someone that I loathe, and you blackmailed him with something you found when you hacked him. It’s a whole different level for me, but you’re a different level.”