Total pages in book: 19
Estimated words: 17792 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 89(@200wpm)___ 71(@250wpm)___ 59(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 17792 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 89(@200wpm)___ 71(@250wpm)___ 59(@300wpm)
To let him go.
CHAPTER 8
DECLAN
I knew when I woke up this morning, it was going to be a shit day. When I get home the air in the house in stale and sickly. August is laying on the couch in her flamingo pajamas, watching Pride and Prejudice. She only does that when she’s really sick. She looks so weak, so different. She sits up when I walk into the living room fully.
“What’s wrong, baby?” I ask, immediately concerned.
“I have the flu.”
“Oh, baby. Let me make you some soup,” I say, turning to head into the kitchen.
“No. I can’t keep it down anyways. We need to talk, Declan,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper.
“That’s never a good statement, baby,” I reply, trying to keep my tone light but feeling a knot forming in my stomach.
She takes a deep breath, her eyes never leaving mine. “I can’t be with you anymore,” she says, her words hitting me like a freight train. My world stops on a dime, everything around me fading away as I try to process what she just said.
“What? Why?” I manage to choke out, my throat tight with emotion.
“It’s just not working. We’ve been drifting apart for a while now and I think it’s better if we end things now before things get even worse,” she explains, her voice trembling.
My mind races, trying to come up with a way to change her mind, to make her stay. But I know deep down that her decision is final. She has thought this through and there is no changing her mind.
“Is there someone else?” I choke on the words as I say them. The thought of her being with another man is as abhorrent as me being with another woman. I would never. Could never…
“What difference does it make?” she asks, making it hard for me breathe. What the fuck? How could I not know she met someone else?
“I love you, you know that, right?” I say, my voice breaking.
She nods, tears slipping down her cheeks. “I love you too, Declan. But sometimes love isn't enough,” she says, her words crushing me further.
I take her hand in mine, bringing it up to my lips and placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles. “I’ll always love you,” I whisper, knowing that these words won’t be the last I say to her.
Her hand trembles in mine, and I can see the pain in her eyes as she stands up, pulling her hand away. “I’ll move out when I’m feeling better, if that’s okay. Can you just leave for the night? I can’t be around you right now.” All I can do is nod, because I’m still in shock. “Goodbye, Declan. I really am sorry,” she says, her voice filled with sadness.
I watch her walk away, closing herself in the bathroom my heart breaking into a million pieces, knowing that I have lost the love of my life.
I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but now isn’t the time to figure it out. I’ll give her a little space, but if she thinks this is actually over, she’s got another thing coming.
I’m fucking devastated but there’s something going on here. My August wouldn’t do this… I don’t know what it is, but it’s big. For now, I’ll respect her wishes and leave the apartment. I pack a bag while she’s in the bathroom and leave without seeing her again. I head over to Bobby’s house to lick my wounds.
When I finally lie down in the guest bedroom, that’s when the doubts begin to seep in. What if she’s serious? What if I can’t get her back? I don’t know how to live without August by my side and to be honest, I don’t want to know. She’s the air I fucking breathe. Not getting her back isn’t an option. I’ll do whatever it takes. Whatever it takes.
CHAPTER 9
AUGUST
TWO DAYS LATER
I have been in bed for two days now, alternating between crying, pain, and vomiting. Since the breakup, I have been miserable, feeling guilty and missing him like crazy, but I know it was the right thing to do. I just need to convince my heart. He is the missing piece to my soul. I knew it the first day I saw him in the support group, and no matter what happens with this illness, I will know it until the day I die, but he deserves to have everything he dreamed of, even if it is not with me. No matter how much it hurts.
Today is the first day I am fever-free and my body aches like you wouldn’t believe. Now, I am sure I had the flu, but it was ten times worse because of the chemo but damn, can a girl get a break. When I realized I was feeling better, I called the chemo center first thing this morning, and they told me they had a chair for me due to one of their other patients being out with the flu. Geez, that place should really disinfect better.