Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 70264 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 351(@200wpm)___ 281(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70264 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 351(@200wpm)___ 281(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
I’m not him. I’m nothing like him.
I can do this. But what I’m capable of being to Taylor might not be what she wants.
“Everything’s going to be all right now,” I say because it’s what she needs to hear.
But even though my heart wants to believe it, too, I know Jesse, Clint, and I need to face up to how wrong our role is in Taylor’s life and make it right however we can.
18
JESSE
FREE FALLING
It’s late when we arrive back at the ranch. Mitch has fallen asleep on the couch in the den with his hands crossed over his belly and his mouth open. I touch him gently on the shoulder, not wanting to give the man a heart attack by waking him too quickly. “Mitch, we’re home.”
He awakens with a long inhale of breath and blinks his tired eyes.
“Did you find Molly?”
“Yeah. She’s upstairs getting settled in with Taylor.”
“That’s good. Me and Barb were so worried.” He sits up straighter and looks to the corner of the room, his expression pensive. “There shouldn’t be any bad feelings between us,” he says tightly. “I can’t tell you I understand what you’re doing here. I can’t tell you that I respect it, either. But you’re like a son to me, and so are those other boys. And Taylor and her sister… well, they need good people around them.”
“They do.” I rub the back of my neck, feeling the weight of two worlds on my shoulders. My past and future are warring, and the people I love face a quandary. It doesn’t feel good.
“Barb told me she thinks Beth was wrong in how she dealt with things. She likes Taylor. She doesn’t want her to think we’re judging her, but this lifestyle doesn’t fit our beliefs.”
“I love her,” I tell Mitch softly. “We all do. And we’ll look after her for as long as we have life in our bones. It might not be a marriage that God can sanctify, but it’ll be a relationship built on affection, respect, and love. I hope you’ll be able to accept that.”
Mitch nods, pursing his lips thoughtfully. “Your sister’s going to be a tougher nut to crack.”
“I hope she’ll come around.” That’s all I can think of to say. No one ever got Beth to do a thing she didn’t want to do.
Mitch shifts forward, pressing his palms to the cushions. “Well, I’d better be getting home. Barb doesn’t sleep when I’m not there. She’ll be worrying about Taylor.”
“Thanks for coming tonight and for… you know.”
He struggles to his feet and claps a hand on my upper arm. “The modern world is more and more of a mystery every day, but that’s always been the way for every aging generation.”
I walk him out, waving goodbye and closing and locking the door as he drives into the night. His relationship with Barb is what I want with Taylor; committed to facing all good and bad that life blends into a cocktail together with one heart.
I rest my hand on the cool wood and think again about my own words. It’ll be a relationship built on affection, respect, and love.
Suddenly, my actions feel clearly at odds.
I head upstairs, pausing outside Taylor’s closed door, listening to the hushed whispers between the sisters.
Clint sits on his bed with a glass of water clutched in one hand. Dressed in his sleep shorts and covered with long-faded tattoos, he still cuts an impressive and daunting figure. Maverick appears in the adjacent doorway. His usually cheerful expression has been replaced by fatigue and concern. He nods towards Clint’s room, and I follow him inside. He closes the door behind us.
Clint stands, glancing between us with concern lining his face. “What?”
“We need to give Taylor the option to annul the marriage,” Maverick says.
“What?”
Clint’s shock mirrors my own.
“I know we want her, but this is all wrong.” When Maverick shakes his head, his unease is stark.
I lean against the wall, feeling like he kicked me in the gut.
“She needs us,” Clint says. “Now more than ever.”
“That isn’t what I’m talking about, though. I’m not saying we should put Taylor and Molly out onto the street. There’s no way I’m letting those two girls out of my sight after what they’ve been through. But Taylor didn’t choose this. She didn’t choose to enter the auction. She didn’t choose Clint as her husband. She certainly didn’t choose the four-way relationship we’ve encouraged her into.”
I sigh, knowing what he’s saying is true but not wanting it to be. Taylor’s happy with us, isn’t she? She won’t want to break apart what we’ve been building.
“Won’t this shake her foundations? She needs us to be strong for her. She needs stability.” Clint grips his hand over his mouth and chin, eyes lowered somberly.
“And we can offer her all of that as friends. But we can’t just keep going as we are.” Maverick shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans and widens his stance as though he needs more stability to face up to this hard truth. “I don’t want to be with a woman who’s only with me because of dire circumstances. I need her to have a choice about what she’s doing with her life.”