Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 70264 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 351(@200wpm)___ 281(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70264 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 351(@200wpm)___ 281(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
The darkness feels both protective and smothering. I know Taylor’s not going to let it go. She’ll keep pushing and pushing until she wears me down. She’ll keep believing I’m what she needs because she sees the best in people, even when they’re rotten to the core. “I killed someone, Taylor. I killed someone, and I can’t make it better. I can never make it better.”
She’s still as though the life has flooded out of her like in a tsunami wave, leaving emptiness behind. She doesn’t pull away, though. “Did you mean to, or was it an accident?”
“I didn’t mean to, but it was my fault.”
“So you made a mistake?”
“Saying it that way doesn’t make it better. I drove when I was too tired and killed a woman. Now I’m living my life, and she’s rotting in the ground, so why should I be happy, Taylor? Why should I get to fall in love and be happy when she never will.”
Her hand cups my cheek, and my neck grows damp. When I twist to look down at her, she’s crying. “Don’t cry for me, Taylor. I sure as hell don’t deserve anyone’s tears.”
“When did it happen?”
I sigh, not wanting to go into more details but knowing she’ll keep prodding and prying until I do. I’ve come too far now to withhold anything. “Fifteen years ago.”
“And did you serve time?”
“Yes, but it wasn’t enough.”
“It’d never be enough,” she says. Even though it’s true, I still feel she knocked the wind out of me.
“No.”
“Because you can’t forgive yourself?”
“Yes.”
“It was a mistake. Do you know how many mistakes I’ve made, Clint? So many. And so many of them could have ended badly for me or someone else. I left Molly behind, and my dad could have really hurt her. Every day, we tread a tightrope through life, just hoping to come out the other side without anything bad happening. I’ve been through so much but holding the pain and hurt and shame inside me won’t help me. It won’t help anyone. I have to let it go.”
“Those things weren’t your fault, though. This is different.”
“You have a choice, Clint. You can walk through the rest of your life under the shadow of what happened, or you can try to thrive and make the most of the time you have. What’s a better choice?”
I swallow, staring into the corner of the room, fighting against the flicker of hope that Taylor inspires.
“You’ve been so good to me and Molly. Every day, you make a difference to your friends, this ranch, the men who come here seeking a new life, and the animals you rescue. You’re not a bad man, Clint. You’re a good man who made a mistake, and something bad happened as a result. You have to let it go, for my sake, Jesse’s sake, and Maverick’s sake, but most of all, for your sake.”
“I fell asleep at the wheel,” I whisper. “And I killed her. I saw her face, Taylor. I watched her die, and I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even pray.” I haven’t said the words out loud to anyone. They sound like they’re being spoken by someone else. After it happened, my parents didn’t even want to be in the same room as me. I locked everything away until now.
Taylor’s hand tenses against my chest.
“It’s how I came to be here on the ranch. I came here as one of Mitch’s juvenile workers, hoping to earn myself a way out of the pen, and I never left.” Silently, Taylor reaches up her hand and gently cups one side of my face. She slides her fingers softly over the rough surface of my unshaven chin, and each sensation feels like a feather of comfort and a stab in the heart at what I stand to lose.
“Jesse saw what kind of man you are, Clint. He wanted you to be his friend. And Maverick, too.”
I let out a breath that aches as it leaves.
“Can I kiss you?” she asks me so innocently. The unexpected words threaten to shake me off balance.
“Why?”
“Because you’re my husband, and I think you need it.”
I cup her face in between my hands and really look at the woman who deserves the world and has somehow ended up shackled to me. “I’m never going to deserve you, Taylor. I’m never going to be good enough for you.”
She clasps her hands over mine. “Don’t you think that’s up to me to decide?”
Lowering my face to hers, our lips brush, and a bolt of connection races through me so intensely that my hands shake. The wet heat of Taylor’s tears burns against my skin, and I brush one away with my thumb.
“I’m so sorry, Taylor. I’m so sorry.”
Her hot breath mingles with mine, and we breathe each other in for a few precious moments, neither of us wanting to break free.