Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 45194 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 226(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45194 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 226(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
Nate and Lyle rush to put their clothes on. I'm going to hear it from them afterward, of course, but blood is thicker than water. Brotherhood comes first. That's fine. They can be as fucking pissed as they want to be, but I don't need any more reminders, any more gilded promises, any more pretending that somehow everything is going to be all right. It can't be, and it never will.
The others are still buckling their belts and struggling into their shirts when I slam the door behind us. When the elevator finally comes to get us, Honor still hasn't emerged from the room.
Part of me thought that she would try to stop us. That fact she hasn’t only proves my point.
Fuck.
17
HONOR
A CRESCENT MOON
Hearing angry words is hard. Hearing them when you know they’re not true and when they’re based on deep, grating hurt is devastating.
My mom was many things, but none of them were bad. Kylian makes her sound like a selfish woman who never cared, but he doesn’t know what really happened. All he knows is what Dick made up to taunt his sons and break their trust in the world even more than he already had.
As Kylian, Nate, and Lyle walk out of the room that has become such a central part of my life; they leave me empty and completely bereft.
It takes a long time to gather the shattered pieces of myself together so that I can dress. My bra is ruined, and my blouse only has two buttons left, but I wrap myself in them as best I can. Where did my panties go? I’ll just have to keep my sweater closed tightly around me.
I linger in room twenty-eight, knowing that this is the last time I will see this place. It’s hard to determine what memories I want to take when I go. I started off scared but resigned to doing whatever I could to change my circumstances. With a twist of fate, the universe brought Lyle, Nate, and Kylian back into my life and showed me what more years with their father had done to them. Experiences that shouldn’t have felt good awakened something inside me. Us being together changed them too, or at least I thought it did.
As I pull on my sweater, I look at the bed and chair; places I lost my innocence and also realized my own strength, places I experienced the fierceness and vulnerability of three men I once loved.
The three men I still love.
And I find my only regret is that I cut the contract short. I didn’t know then what I know now. I couldn’t imagine feeling the way I feel. I couldn’t have imagined ever wanting more. They paid for my body, but as I clutch the door handle, I realize that I would give them my heart for free.
It would be easy for me to believe all the hate-filled words that spilled from Kylian’s lips and ignore the looks in their eyes as they walked away. I could pretend there is nothing between us, take the money and walk into the life I’ve been planning for, never looking back.
It would be easier to ignore my feelings and their bitterness and leave the past in the past, because forcing them to face the truth will leave no room for them to continue a relationship with their father.
Family was everything to me, but my mom was kind and loving. She always put me first. After we left, the Aston brothers only had heartless cruel Richard to teach them about love and affection. No wonder they’re so tortured.
Should they be expected to have the same loyalty to their father as I did to my mother?
NO!
The word explodes in my head with the same ferocity as Dick’s fist hitting my mom’s soft flesh. Dick Aston doesn’t deserve loyalty from his sons. He doesn’t deserve one more moment of their time or pretense at a father-son bond, if that even exists anymore.
They deserve someone who loves them for everything they are, and I want to be that person. I tried to show them how it could be when we were together in my apartment. But as soon as we returned to Club Scarlet, everything seemed forgotten.
When I open the door into the hallway, I once again feel as though I’m taking a step into a new life.
Walking away is the easy route, but I’m prepared to do what’s difficult. It has to be me because I’m the one who escaped Dick and his malevolence. I had a chance to experience a happy childhood with a loving parent. I can believe that things can be better with love in our lives because I’ve witnessed that truth.
Lyle, Nate, and Kylian haven’t.
But what can I do to change their minds about me? What can I do to show them that we’re meant to be together? Our love doesn’t have to just exist in the past. We don’t have to push it away.