Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 103231 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 516(@200wpm)___ 413(@250wpm)___ 344(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103231 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 516(@200wpm)___ 413(@250wpm)___ 344(@300wpm)
I turned and returned to Magnus’s side and saw he was watching me with a flicker of curiosity. I wondered if he’d overheard anything I’d said. Probably not or he’d be pinning me with a death glare. But when he didn’t take his eyes off me, his expression still not completely readable, I said “What?”
“Nothing,” he responded.
I shrugged and moved ahead of him so I could go down the stairs first.
“Hey, Dante,” I heard Magnus call. I glanced over my shoulder and saw he was still watching me from the landing. “Anyone ever tell you I have excellent hearing?”
Fuck. Bastard had heard everything I’d said to Jeff. But to my amazement, there was no censure in his gaze. Hell, was that…was he actually smiling?
I nearly stumbled at the warmth that flooded my insides. God, if that was the reaction I had when he sent me the tiniest of grins, what the hell would happen if he actually acted like he gave a fuck about me?
A mix of need that had nothing to do with sex went through me, but was quickly doused by reality. This man would never see me as anything other than a horny fuck-up.
My instinct for self-preservation kicked in and I casually said, “Hey, I’m already going to hell, right? Might as well enjoy the ride.” I didn’t wait for him to respond before turning and hurrying down the stairs.
* * *
Damn, I hated that I was so restless. I should have asked Magnus if I could drive, though I doubted he would have let me. And it was better that I be able to focus on our surroundings anyway.
Except I couldn’t focus. Well, not quite true…I had no trouble at all focusing on every little move Magnus made, from the way his fingers occasionally flexed on the steering wheel to how his muscular thighs bunched whenever he shifted in his seat.
Fuck, why was I so obsessed with this guy? I’d fucked and been fucked by countless guys and rarely more than once because none of them had been worth it. But I knew in my gut that one taste of Magnus wouldn’t be enough. One touch and I’d be ready to implode.
I hated that he had so much power over me. But as much as I disliked how strong my physical reaction to him was, it was everything else that was really causing me to lose my shit. Yeah, I wanted his touch, but I fucking craved his smile. I obsessed over what his laugh would sound like. I burned to know what it would feel like to have him look at me with something besides derision.
“How was your meeting?” I blurted out because I desperately needed something to distract me from the thoughts rattling around in my head.
Magnus cast me a look that seemed to say ‘You’re still here?’
“Productive,” he finally responded.
“That’s it?” I asked. “Productive?”
Magnus kept his eyes on the road as he said, “It was harder than I thought it would be.”
“What was?” I asked softly, disturbed by how solemn he sounded.
“Saying goodbye to that part of my life.”
It took me a moment to understand what he was saying. “You told your boss you’re not coming back.” It wasn’t really a question, but he nodded anyway. “What did he say?”
Magnus shrugged. “That he understood. He knows what Matty’s been going through and how finding out he was still alive…”
His voice fell off and I saw him swallow hard. His eyes shifted to glance out his side window and I got the distinct impression he was trying to get control of himself. My insides twisted painfully. I knew his daughter was gone, but I had no clue about the circumstances of her death. I also hadn’t realized he’d thought Matty was lost to him as well.
“You thought Matty was dead?” I prodded.
Magnus glanced at me. “Hawke and Tate didn’t tell you this story?”
I shook my head. “I…I try to keep things professional,” I admitted, realizing how foolish that probably sounded to him considering I hadn’t always been professional around him. “Matty told me about his mom while I was sitting with him in his hospital room when Hawke had to step out for a minute. He…he was asking me about my family…well, my mom actually, and that’s when he said his was in heaven.”
There was a moment of silence before Magnus said, “I didn’t know that. He only asked me about her for the first time last week.”
Magnus fell silent again. The pain in his expression actually caused a physical ache in my chest and I regretted bringing the subject up. “Hey, listen, we don’t have to talk about this…”
He shook his head. “Just…just give me a second, okay?”
His voice cracked on the last word. I managed to say, “Okay” and fell silent. I tore my eyes from him so I wouldn’t make him uncomfortable, but the need to touch him was overwhelming and I had to dig my fingers into my seat so I wouldn’t reach for his hand which was now gripping the steering wheel like it was a lifeline.