Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 81787 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 409(@200wpm)___ 327(@250wpm)___ 273(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81787 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 409(@200wpm)___ 327(@250wpm)___ 273(@300wpm)
“I don’t want to make a mistake with Sarah. You understand that we can’t hurt her?”
“I would never hurt her,” I told him. “You know that.”
“I said we, Oakley, not you.” He ran the tip of his finger down my cheek. “I want you. But I’m not sure if I trust myself to love you.”
I wanted to tell him that if he was going to love me, then he wouldn’t be able to control it. He’d just love me. It would be a force that took over and roared to life. The fact that he thought he could keep from loving me meant he never really would.
That was a sorrow I would carry my entire life. One that trumped all other losses I’d faced.
But for now, I had him. He was mine.
“I understand,” I replied, then reached up to cup his face as I brought his mouth down to mine.
He didn’t want my love, and saying the words would drive him away. So, I told him the only way I could—with my body. Every ounce of love I had for him, I poured it out in that kiss. I would make my memories with him, and when we were done, I would suffer in silence. I had to—for Sarah.
Thirty-Seven
Wilder
My mom had never called to check in on me so much in my life. I had almost ignored her call this morning, but I had given in, for fear she might actually need me.
“I want my granddaughter for the day. We are decorating the tree. What time can you bring her? Shall I come and get her?”
Sighing, I leaned back in my office chair and reached for my coffee. Mom and Porter had been home for a week, and I knew her house was safe. Sarah could use an outing, and I was sure Oakley wouldn’t mind some alone time.
“I’ll bring her in an hour. She and Oakley are painting some clay ornaments they made yesterday.”
“Have you told Oakley you love her yet?” Mom asked.
“Mom,” I warned.
I’d already told her to stop talking about us like that. Sarah could overhear her and get confused.
“I take that as a no. Well, you’d better get around to it before some other handsome man swoops in and steals her right out from under your nose.”
“I’ll see you in an hour,” I said, then ended the call, slamming my cell down with more force than necessary.
The image of Oakley with any other man made me livid. The thought that she could fall in love with someone else and get married. Have a family. Fuck, that burned deep in my chest. I couldn’t picture her with anyone else. No other family.
Just us. This one.
DAMMIT! Why was it that all the reasons for not pursuing her made sense during the day, but at night, none of that shit mattered? I had her in my arms, and I felt like a damn king.
Standing up, I started to leave the room when I caught a glimpse of Oakley and Sarah in the backyard. They were laying their ornaments out to dry in the sunshine. Sarah said something to Oakley, then turned and ran toward the tree swing, laughing as she went. Oakley chased after her.
Sarah jumped onto the swing, and Oakley went behind her to push.
Oakley would make a great mom. She deserved to have that. But the thought of letting someone else give her a child, I couldn’t fucking even consider it. Every damn muscle in my body tensed, and I felt ready to kill any fucker who tried to touch her. Take her from us. From me.
I gripped the windowsill and watched them, and the one word that kept hammering in my head was, MINE. They were mine.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. I couldn’t keep denying it. Telling myself I could control it. Acting like I had ever really stopped. I was in love with Oakley Leola Watson and her quirky personality, sharp wit, big heart, and ability to forgive. To accept. Her strength humbled me.
Looking back at the females in my past, I knew, this time, it would be different. I wouldn’t let anything come between us. No lies. No heartache. Nothing. I wanted that life with her that I’d dreamed of once.
This wasn’t going to hurt Sarah. I’d been using that as an excuse because I was afraid of losing Oakley again. I didn’t think I could survive it another time.
At that moment, she looked up, and her eyes found me. A smile lit up her gorgeous face, and she lifted her hand to wave.
Even after I’d told her I couldn’t love her, she had given me this. Stayed here. She hadn’t left. She let me bury myself inside of her over and over, giving me all of her. Taking me to a paradise I’d never realized existed. One where I wanted to keep her wrapped in my arms forever.