Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
I swallowed hard and slumped down on the foot of the bed.
Had just a few days gone by since…
I released a breath. In such a short period of time, I felt like another person. But that was what I’d known would happen, right? It’d been my fear all along. That the minute I laid eyes on Walker, everything would change, including my own thoughts and feelings.
All the walls I’d put up, the lies I’d told myself.
“I’m so torn,” I admitted. “I’ve completely lost my footing, but I don’t think I can handle another impression—even if it’s one that will stabilize everything.”
Walker inclined his head and gave my knee a squeeze. “I know what you mean, love. It’s been a lot.”
To say the least.
“It’s like I’m too overwhelmed for reassurance, however that works,” I said.
“We’re not in a good place for that either,” he reasoned. “Vacations come with their own rules.”
Too true. They really did.
I glanced up at him and grabbed his hand, needing the closeness. “We’ll start when we get home?”
“Of course we will.” He offered a warm little smile and pressed a kiss to my temple. “I’m more confident than ever.”
I swallowed again. I was…unsettled and nervous. My stomach didn’t feel awesome. “It comes and goes for me.” I had to be honest. “Right now, I’m more terrified I’ll lose you again. I’m afraid we’re gonna fuck up once we’re back in the real world.”
Just because I didn’t work quite as much as I used to didn’t mean I wasn’t still running my own restaurant. I was. And I worked a lot in comparison to the average nine-to-five employee.
Walker wasn’t far behind. At our lunch the other day, I’d learned that Westwater Hotels was literally opening a whole new branch in DC solely to keep him on board. It’d be small, granted, with just a few employees, and Walker’s position would include going up to Boston every now and then. But still. They were gonna rent a small office space just to keep him. Which they wouldn’t be doing if he wasn’t worth it. If he didn’t work hard and make a difference at the company.
“What if I can’t be what you need?” I asked.
“Well, that’s the good thing about the changes I’ve gone through, darling. I’m not the asshole who wants to try to squeeze a square peg into a round hole anymore.”
I exhaled a laugh and felt my stupid emotions surge underneath the surface.
He smiled and cupped my cheek. “You’re the love of my life, Macklin. And I’m looking forward to late dinners at the bar after you close the restaurant. I’ll sit there and listen while you rant about the douchebag who sent back a perfect steak four times, or the entitled businessmen who think they don’t have to make reservations—or the girlfriends who drink too much and spill red wine all over your furniture.”
I shook my head and pinched my lips together. Half of me wanted to cry my eyes out; the other half was ready to laugh. Oh God, I’d had some awful customers over the years.
“Believe it or not, I’m more social these days too,” he said.
I grinned and wiped at my cheek as a traitorous tear spilled over.
“I’ve missed my friends here,” he admitted. “I should’ve been a founder right there next to you nine years ago.”
Jesus, I didn’t wanna cry now. We had dinner in less than an hour.
I sniffled and hugged his bicep. “You gotta find an office close to the restaurant so I can stop by and make sure you eat properly every day.”
“Deal. Consider it done, baby.” He lifted my chin and framed my face with his hands. “We will find our way, I promise you,” he implored. “Both inside and outside of kink.”
Kink wasn’t even on my mind, weirdly enough. Maybe because I could already see the type of dynamic I wanted us to have. Walker was the man I wanted to go to bed with at the end of the day—every day. He had to be my constant. My primary. My home. Group play would—judging by how this trip had gone—be easy. Something we did together. And Lane… Well, I had to squeeze him in somewhere because I wasn’t losing him. I refused.
Fingers crossed Lane and Ty fell hopelessly in love with each other so Lane and I could find equal ground in being each other’s hot secondary. Like, with dates, clubbing, and playtime at the house in Mclean, before we went home to our Owners. How about that? Could we make that work? Please?
I didn’t know, to be honest. It didn’t feel entirely right.
Shit.
I scratched my head and inched away from Walker, a new worry rising within me.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
Fuck, suddenly a whole lot. To the point where I got stressed out in my head and had to stand up and pace the bedroom. “What if I can’t be without you?” I asked. “What if it will feel super weird and wrong to go on dates with Lane? Like what, are you just gonna sit at home and wait? I’d feel terrible. I wouldn’t want that at all. At the same time—” Ugh. I came to a stop and slapped my hands over my face. What if Walker had another partner? One he went out on dates with without me?