Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Dean’s mouth twitched with mirth. “When it is, you flee the country.”
Pish!
I waved him off.
“I didn’t say it should be here,” I muttered. “I’m so done with his ass. Okay—to be fair, I’m more done with him being done with my ass… No, that’s not right. My point is, I was never into his ass, if you know what I mean. He was into mine—every day and twice on Sunday.”
He was so good with my ass.
Dean drained his entire drink. “I’m gonna need one more if we’re going to discuss my brother’s ass.”
I laughed at that. He was so funny. I’d always liked his dry sense of humor.
“What about my ass?” I teased.
“That’s off-limits, my dear boy.”
Hot.
And…fuck. Walker had called me my dear boy a few times too. But mostly, I’d been his little sea monster. The one who begged for Master’s tentacles.
Misery flooded me and made the next exhale heavier.
“I miss him, Dean.”
He inclined his head and returned with a new drink. “I know you do.” He sat down next to me again and gave my leg a squeeze. “If it makes you feel better, he misses you too.”
It did and it didn’t.
We were poison.
“How often do you see him?” I asked.
Dean took a swig while he weighed his answer. “Well, that’s the thing. I miss him too. I saw him this Easter when we went to put flowers on our mother’s grave.” As they did every Easter. It’d been Marigold’s favorite holiday. “But I’ve been missin’ Walker for ten years…” With that, he emptied half his drink. “Fuck.”
I felt my forehead crease, and confusion slithered in. The way he’d admitted that…
“You’re gonna have to explain,” I said. “You saw each other all the time when we lived next door.”
He hummed. “Not the way we used to before you entered the picture.”
Holy shit.
I blinked. My heart swam a little faster in a pool of alcohol.
“You mean…”
He smirked faintly. “Indeed.”
“But—”
“We made each other better Doms.”
Huh. Just like that, I could visualize them. Walker had been a strong voice for new members in our community. He’d stressed the importance of beginners seeking out experienced equals rather than finding their first plaything on the opposite side of the kink spectrum. Like, he wanted new Doms to play with Doms who’d been around the block. Same with subs. Who knew the ins and outs, the red flags, the pitfalls, and the submissive mind better than a submissive?
That was in our community guidelines today, and Reese and Penelope and Greer and Lucas and the others preached Walker’s words to newcomers.
My favorite brand of Sadist was the man who’d experienced the pain he exposed masochists to.
Dominance was no different. In my book, a Dom should at least have walked a mile in a sub’s shoes.
It’d just never, not fucking once, crossed my mind to consider Dean as the man who’d made Walker walk a mile in those shoes. And vice versa.
I was sure as fuck picturing them now, though…
Goddamn.
I needed another drink.
“Can—can you grab the, uh…” I coughed and waved in the general direction of where he’d hidden my bottle. “I need more vodka to get that fantasy outta my head.”
I’d reimburse myself at the restaurant after the holidays. I wasn’t supposed to grab booze straight from the bar, and certainly not to drink in the Uber over here. Certainly not a whole bottle… But it was Christmas, and I hated Christmas. Well, I did now when I didn’t have Walker. I was fairly good at hiding how much I still loved him—except for this time of year. He and I had been big on celebrating Christmas with dinners and stuff.
“I don’t think that’s wise,” Dean told me. “I also don’t think it’s wise you tell me about your fantasies. My self-control has limits.”
Woof.
I glanced at him and couldn’t keep the slyness out of my grin. His implication was clear, even to a drunk pile of misery like me.
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Don’t.”
I plastered drunken innocence on my face and zipped my lips shut, pretending to throw away the key. “My mind is pure, Sir. I swear.”
He snorted quietly and stood up. “All right. Perhaps if we get absolutely hammered, we’ll pass out quicker.”
I grinned and bit my lip, feeling the first trickle of happiness all week. Which also made me feel like shit because my wonderful boyfriend had been trying to brighten my mood for days. Bless him. Lane just didn’t give up. Thankfully, he was out on a date tonight—and he had another one tomorrow, if I remembered correctly.
“Are you inviting me to stay the night?” I smiled.
“I’m invitin’ you to pass out in my guest room.”
Dean was fun to tease. Possibly because there would be no ramifications. He and I didn’t have that relationship.
“I’m formally requesting a bedtime story,” I said, scratching my cheek. “How about the time you and Walker got down and dirty together for the first time? Did you top him? Did he top you?”