Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 97275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
“Trust me; ours wouldn’t be one of those running around anyway. These people may be family, but I don’t even know half of them. Our kids will be better behaved than this in the first place.” I said with assurance.
My mother burst out laughing as she heard the comment I just made. “Oh, please. Please enlighten us on how you will keep your child from turning into you.”
“I’m not talking to you. I can’t believe you made me wear this.” I said pointing to my shirt and glaring at her.
“Oh, I think y’all are so cute. You look adorable in it.” Steve said sarcastically when I sat down next to him.
I frogged him in the leg. “Do you know why I married Max?”
He looked at me suspiciously. “No, why?”
“So he could kick everyone’s asses that pissed me off.”
My most annoying great aunt, Sophia, came up to us just in time to hear my previous comment, and of course she had to throw in her two cents. “So what are y’all wanting?”
“We’re hoping it’s a pony.” I said flatly.
Max’s beer spewed out of his mouth and all over my pants. “What the hell, now I’m going to smell like beer the rest of the day.”
“Last night you told me that you wished that Yankee Candles would start making ones that smelled like beer. In fact, you also told me last night that the smell of beer on my breath made you horn-” He was saying before I threw my hand over his face.
Dad scowled. Steve and Bennett laughed. My mom and her sister covered their mouths to keep their laughs from escaping.
“Time to eat!” Bennett yelled.
Molly squealed her happy baby squeal, and streaked up to the front of the line grabbing a turkey leg that was easily twice as big as her own thigh, and came back to her seat, chewing happily.
My head whipped around, and I abandoned Max like the proverbial hot potato. I cut in front of my brother, who graciously allowed it with minimal bitching. The line quickly filled, and I didn’t see Max again until I was getting in line a second time. He laughed as I squeezed in between him.
“That wasn’t very nice.” He said running his nose along my jaw.
“Your child makes me have these urges, and I have to follow them or I’ll die.” I joked.
My creepy distant cousin Orlando turned when he heard my voice, and allowed three people to pass him in line so he could stand beside me. I shivered and scooted closer to Max, trying to keep him as far away from me as possible.
Orlando was one of those people that just plain old gave you the creeps. All he had to do was walk in the same room, and I’d walk out. I remember one summer we were playing chicken wars, and he’d tried to get me on top of his shoulders. It was the third inappropriate touch that had me seeing red. Instead of accepting, I’d chosen my dad’s shoulders and accidentally on purpose kicked Orlando in the face.
The man was a toucher, and as of right now, if he touched me, I might puke my delicious Chicken Spaghetti up onto his perfectly pleated Chinos. He was also married to the bane of my existence. Lita.
Lita married him, and for some reason thought that I wanted Orlando. Not to mention the fact that that would be incest in all, but from the moment I’d met her, she’d been beyond bitchy.
“Hey there, Payton. Who’s this?” She asked sweetly while eyeing Max over my shoulder.
My body tensed. “My husband.”
“I thought you were with that Rory guy. What happened to him?” She asked maliciously.
The bitch knew exactly what happened with him. My whole family did. For the past year, every time I saw her she’d bring Rory up. She knew I didn’t like him. She also knew that I suffered an attack, and just the mention of Rory’s name brought back haunting memories. Not only that, she attended my freaking wedding!
My head chose that moment to start pickaxing the back of my eyes, and my back started a low throb that temporarily stole my attention from Lita, as well as Max’s. Which she didn’t like. Of course, to bring the attention back to her, she had to say something disgusting.
“Are you gaining weight?” She asked.
Max’s low growl proceeded her question. “Does it look like she’s fat? Fuck. Payton’s all belly, and it’s incredibly obvious. Stop being a bitch and move. You’re holding the line up.” He snarled.
I’d totally be on my knees right now, if I wasn’t in a public place that is. I smiled bright up at him, and then stuck my tongue out at Lita. Take that, bitch. The bounce of Max’s chest from behind me let me know that my tongue action didn’t go unnoticed by him. Not that I thought it would or anything. You’d have to be a super spy to get anything past him. Hell, he knew me better than I knew me.
She practically hissed as she turned and moved up the line. My lip curled when I saw her skip over the deliciousness that was chicken spaghetti. There must be something wrong with the girl; she didn’t even fill the plate up. I mean, it’s a buffet, what person in their right mind wouldn’t fill it to brimming?
I smiled as I saw Max mound the spaghetti up until the plate started folding in on itself. Now that was how it was done.
ɸ
I was getting death looks from my great grandmother as I called out my eighth Bingo, so I decided now was the time to go see what the boys were up to. Grabbing my coat and my Bingo prizes, I went in search of my other half.
Stepping outside the front door, my eyes scanned the kids playing on the playground are. I surveyed the area until I spotted him standing in a group of big burly men. Those men were the ones I was talking about earlier that I’d hoped wouldn’t kill him. Obviously they’d hit it off, and I had no need to worry.