Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 77016 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 385(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77016 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 385(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
So how do I tell him what Skye asked me to do?
He knows why I can’t do it. He knows about my past with Addie. After all, it led to the seed money for our first business.
In a way, without Addie and our fucked-up past, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
“You going to answer me anytime soon?” Ben asks.
“I think I’m going to tell you to fuck off.”
“Fine. Wouldn’t be the first time.”
“Won’t be the last, either,” I mutter.
“Say it, then.”
“Fuck off,” I grit out.
He nods. “Great. Now that you got that off your chest, I need you to level with me. What the hell is going on? I’ve never seen you as twitterpated over a woman—”
I hold up my hand to stop him. “Don’t ever use the word ‘twitterpated’ to refer to me again.”
“Bray, that’s what you are. You’re crazy about Skye. I never thought I’d see the day. And now there’s trouble in paradise and it’s worming its way into your work. That’s not you, bro, and frankly, I’m concerned.”
“Don’t be.”
“Oh, okay.” He rolls his eyes. “If you say so, I won’t be concerned.”
Skye. Just thinking about her sends a ripple of something through me. Longing, perhaps? No. It’s something more akin to a bitter cocktail of regret and unfulfilled promise.
And I’m full of shit.
It’s love, pure and simple. Love like I’ve never known. Love I never wanted but it thrust itself on me anyway.
“It’s obvious you’re in love with her,” Ben continues, as if he’s reading my mind. “The way you talk about her, the way you look when you mention her name. It’s like she’s the last piece of your puzzle, the one thing that makes everything else make sense.”
I hate when Ben gets all philosophical. But I can’t ignore the sting of truth in his words. Skye has become more than just a woman to me. She is a symbol of everything I never thought I wanted but now need desperately.
But can’t have.
Not until she knows herself better.
“We won’t work,” I say succinctly, wishing I’d ordered a Wild Turkey. I said no to the server because I just had two at the bar.
“Why?” he asks.
“Because she’s not ready. It’s that simple.”
“She is pretty young.”
“It has nothing to do with her age,” I say.
“Are you sure about that?”
Am I?
She’s only twenty-four years old, eleven years my junior. But she’s an adult. A college graduate. A talented photographer who knows what she wants out of life.
Who among us doesn’t have some unresolved issues?
God knows I do.
So she wants to be choked. She’s punishing herself. That’s not a damned crime.
But I’m not a therapist, damn it. I can’t help her through her issues. That’s not who I am.
I’m a businessperson. I find solutions. I don’t get emotional.
Except I’ve gotten emotional.
I’ve fallen in love.
“I never meant to…” I say with a sigh.
“Never meant to what?” Ben asks.
“I never meant to fall in love with Skye.”
“No shit,” he says. “I figured I’d fall way before you ever did, and I’m nowhere near done sowing my wild oats.”
I let out a scoff. “You’re a big help.”
“Look, Bray,” he says. “I want you happy. You’re my big brother, and I know what you’ve been through in your life. Everything Dad and I have today is because of you. I never forget that.”
“Don’t,” I say. “Without you and Dad, my business never would have gotten off the ground.”
“Maybe not, but it was your idea…and you got the cash.”
I shake my head. “Don’t remind me.”
Ben sighs. “I have a lot of regrets in my life, some you don’t even know about—”
I open my mouth to ask, but he holds up his hand.
“Don’t bother. Some things are going to my grave. My point is we’ve all fucked up. Don’t keep yourself from Skye because of some misguided conception that you don’t deserve her.”
“That’s not what this is about.”
“Are you sure about that?”
Sometimes my little brother amazes me. His words grip me with a sudden clarity.
He’s right. Part of me still blames myself for what happened with Addison.
She begged me for it, but I’m the one who carried it out.
I choked the air out of her.
And when Skye asked me for the same thing…
I felt sick. A cold knot of fear twisted in my gut. I didn’t want to revisit that dark chapter of my life. And for just a moment, I wondered if I was the one being punished. If this woman who I loved was sent here only to remind me of that horrible time and to make sure I paid for it.
That I didn’t deserve happiness.
That I didn’t deserve Skye.
But none of that changes what I believe in and how I’m going to live my life. I enjoy the BDSM lifestyle. I love seeing a woman bound, ready to obey, collared and laid out for my pleasure.