Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 77016 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 385(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77016 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 385(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
“Totally different?” I say, quirking one eyebrow.
“Okay. Subtly different. But I can see the difference.”
I grab her hand. “You’re cold as ice.”
“Am I? I thought I was feeling better.”
“It’s okay. Nothing is going to hurt you.”
“Because you’ll protect me, right?”
“Always,” I say, “but you don’t need me to protect you here.”
“I know.” She chokes out a laugh. “I was kidding.”
“I know you were. Do you realize that you use humor when you’re nervous?”
“Do I?”
“You do.”
We walk through the plowed pathway, moving farther and farther out, toward the old scarecrow pole. We don’t seem to be getting any closer, though, until it juts out from the ground and stops us in our tracks.
“Here we are,” I say.
“Yes.”
“Take this place back, Skye.”
“What do you mean?”
“Here it is. It’s an old pole. Nothing can harm you here. So take it back. Take back the power it stole from you all those years ago.”
“Have you ever done anything like that?”
Her question is valid, and it’s something I should probably do as well. But not here, and not now. “This isn’t about me. It’s about you.”
“But have you—”
“You have no idea what I’ve had to take back in my life.”
“Will you tell—”
“Damn it, Skye. Must you always be so obstinate?”
She lets out a nervous laugh. “Isn’t that why you love me?”
I shake my head. “God help me. You’re partially right.”
She smiles. Sort of. “I understand what you’re trying to do, but I don’t need to take this back, Braden. It doesn’t scare me.”
“Doesn’t it?”
“No. I admit to being reluctant to come here, but I’m fine now. Really.”
She’s lying to herself. It’s apparent by her tensed jaw, though her hand is no longer quite so cold.
“Then perhaps you’re wrong.”
“About what?” she asks.
“Maybe this isn’t what gave birth to your need for control.”
“No, this is it,” she says. “I didn’t realize until I got here, though, that this place isn’t anything to hamper my life. Besides, I gave up control. To you. Remember?”
“You did. Or rather you may think you did.”
“What do you mean?”
“Feeling out of control is related to anxiety. That’s how you feel when you lose control in a situation. That’s probably how you felt when you got lost here all those years ago.”
She nods.
“But,” I continue, “is that how you feel when you’re not in control now?”
Is it?
“No,” she replies. “Not really.”
“So you see, Skye, your need for control isn’t really who you are at all, is it?”
In my heart, I’ve always known the truth about Skye. Now she needs to see it for herself. “I… I don’t know.”
“What you define as being a control freak is really just a preference. You prefer to be able to think clearly. That’s why you don’t get drunk.”
“You think?”
“It’s possible. In fact, your willingness to give up control to me in the bedroom may be because it’s nice not to have to think sometimes. It’s nice to let someone else be in charge.”
Her mouth drops open. She knows I’m right.
“Tessa says I don’t let my hair down enough.”
“You seem to let it down with me.”
“Yeah, I do… In fact…”
“What?”
She nibbles on her lower lip, and all I can think of is kissing her.
“I want to let it down farther than you’re willing to let me.”
“That’s true,” I acknowledge.
“So…what do we do now?”
“You have to figure that out for yourself, Skye. I can’t help you.”
“But you just—”
“I just got lucky on a hunch. Most self-professed control freaks aren’t actually control freaks. For example, you don’t micromanage.”
“How do you know?”
“Addison wouldn’t have let you.”
“Since you brought her up—”
“Nice try.” My lips tremble as I try not to laugh. “We’re not talking about me yet.”
She huffs. “Fine.”
“You also didn’t change yourself or your situation for me.”
“I would never do that.”
“That’s exactly my point. You are who you are. You don’t change yourself to control the situation.” I pause. Then, “Let me ask you something.”
“Okay.”
“Were you attracted to me from the beginning?”
“Of course.”
“A true control freak would have attempted to manage my impression of her. You didn’t do that.”
She cocks her head.
“Did you want to sleep with me that first night?” I ask.
“Of course!”
“But you didn’t.”
“No, I—”
“See what I mean?”
“But I was controlling the situation.”
“No, you weren’t. You gave up something you wanted that you could have had. How is that being in control?”
“It was… It was too soon.”
“According to whom?”
“I don’t know. According to the rules I set in my own head?” She laughs nervously.
“Bingo. That’s your illusion of control—those rules in your head. But that’s not what makes a true control freak. You control only yourself. A control freak takes charge of others.”
She drops her jaw. Is this actually news to her?
“What did you gain by controlling yourself?” I ask.
“Nothing. I mean, I made you wait, I guess.”
“You did. You made us both wait for something we both wanted. But you know what?”