Total pages in book: 196
Estimated words: 186555 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 933(@200wpm)___ 746(@250wpm)___ 622(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 186555 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 933(@200wpm)___ 746(@250wpm)___ 622(@300wpm)
She had to have heard the BS too from the expression she made that was all concern. Part of me expected her to let it go, but she didn’t. “You know you can tell me whatever’s bothering you, right?” she asked, slowly and carefully, trying not to tread on my toes but obviously concerned enough to risk it.
And that’s why I set the shoes down and looked at her and then sighed so deeply, I didn’t know how I still had air left in my lungs afterward. “I fucked up, Clara.”
She came around the counter, walking right past Jackie who was renting some tubes out to a family, and came over to squat beside me, her hand resting between my shoulder blades. “If you tell me, I can try to help. Or I can just listen.”
Love and tenderness filled my entire soul, so much of it that it almost made up for the ache I’d been feeling since last night, and I found myself hugging her close for a second before pulling back and saying, “You’re such a good person. I hope you know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but even more for your friendship.”
It was her turn to hug me back. “It goes both ways, you know. You’ve been the best thing to happen to me in a long time, and we’re all so glad you’re here.”
Wasn’t that nearly word for word what Rhodes had said once?
When he was talking to me.
When he wasn’t ignoring my text messages like he had that morning. All I’d wanted was to talk to him, to explain better. I still hadn’t gotten a reply though.
I sniffled, then she sniffled, and I told her the truth. “I hadn’t told Rhodes or Amos about Kaden, and they found out last night. I feel terrible, and they’re so mad at me.” What I didn’t say was that they hadn’t even tried to stop me when we’d gotten back, and I went into their house to grab my things and go back to the garage apartment.
Her eyes had widened with every word out of my mouth but somehow circled back so that she ended up grimacing but making a thoughtful expression at the same time. “But you didn’t tell them about him because you’re embarrassed about it.” I wasn’t positive even she knew about how I’d written his songs. Jackie did because she’d overheard comments Yuki had made, but Clara had never brought up anything about it. Had Jackie told her? Had she put it together? I had no clue.
So I nodded and told her as quickly as possible about it, stressing mostly on how I hadn’t written anything new in nearly two years and how I hadn’t brought it up because I wouldn’t be able to help Am with his music in that way anymore.
She tilted her head to the side, and her expression wasn’t sad, but it was close. “You know, I get why they’d be upset, but at the same time, I understand why you didn’t want to tell them too. If I were in your shoes, I don’t know that I would either. At the same time, I always thought it was pretty cool you knew him in the first place, that you were together.”
I shrugged.
“But you told them about him in general, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, just never the specifics.” I blew out a breath and shook my head. “They wouldn’t even look at me, Clara. I know I kind of deserve it, but it really hurt my feelings. They found out because we stopped at this gas station and two of Kaden’s band members happened to stop at the same one and they tried to apologize for turning their back on me. It was so dumb, and I feel like crap. The only reason I waited so long to tell them was because I wanted them to like me for me. And they did. And now it backfired.”
“I’m sure they are upset. He’s… Kaden Jones, Aurora. I saw him on a commercial last night. I think my jaw dropped when he had that first big hit and I realized you were together.”
I grunted, knowing exactly what song it was. “What the Heart Wants.” I’d written it when I was sixteen and I’d missed my life in Colorado so much still.
Clara reached over and grabbed my hand. “They’ll get over it. Those two love you. I don’t think they know how to function without you anymore. Give them some time.” I must have made a face because she laughed. “Why don’t you come over tonight? Stay with us? Dad was upset you didn’t come over Christmas Eve even though it wasn’t like anybody was able to go anywhere because of the snow.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, not wanting to picture myself sitting in the garage apartment all by myself for hours. Not with this feeling in my soul.