Total pages in book: 198
Estimated words: 186242 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 931(@200wpm)___ 745(@250wpm)___ 621(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 186242 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 931(@200wpm)___ 745(@250wpm)___ 621(@300wpm)
He did exactly what he wanted. He went on that date, thinking I was bluffing. So I left.
I spent three weeks with Yuki before he came around and begged and pleaded for me to come back. That he would never do something like that again. That he was so sorry.
That he had kissed Tammy Lynn Singer and he felt terrible.
I didn’t imagine that Rhodes’s voice got deeper as he asked, “Then why did you get divorced?”
The urge not to lie to him was so strong in my heart, I had to think about how to word this without giving more than I was ready to. “It’s pretty complicated . . .”
“Most breakups are.”
I smiled at him. He was so close, I had the best view of those full lips. “There were a lot of reasons. One of the biggest was that I wanted to have kids, and he kept putting it off and off, and I finally figured out that he was going to keep making excuses forever. It was important to me, and it wasn’t like I hadn’t made that clear to him from the beginning of our relationship. I probably should have known he was never going to fully commit to our future when he kept insisting on condoms even after being together for fourteen years, right? Too much information, I’m sorry. And there was his career. I’m not really the clingy type or need a lot of attention, but his job was number one through ten on the list of priorities in his life, and I was . . . going to be number eleven forever when I would’ve been happy being three or four. I’d prefer number two, but I could settle.”
The lines across his forehead made another appearance.
“And it was just a bunch of other stuff that compounded over the years. His mom is the Antichrist, and he was a momma’s boy. She hated me with a passion unless I could do something for her or him. We just ended up growing into totally different people who wanted totally different things . . . and now that I think about it, I guess it really isn’t that complicated. I guess I just wanted someone to be my best friend, someone good and honest who doesn’t make me second-guess being important. And he would never give up his job or even try and compromise.” I felt like it was always me that had to give and give and give, while he took and took and took.
I made a farting sound with my lips and shrugged at Rhodes. “I guess I am a little clingy.”
His gray eyes roamed my face, and after a moment, he raised his eyebrows and dropped them back down with a shake of his head.
“What?” I asked.
He snickered. “He sounds like a fucking moron.”
I smiled faintly. “I like to think so, but I’m sure there are some people who would think he was too good for me.”
“Doubt it.”
That got me to full-on smile at him. “I used to want him to regret the end of our relationship for the rest of his life, but you know what? I just don’t care anymore, and that makes me pretty damn happy.”
It was him who touched my arm that time. His thumb a two-hundred-degree point on my wrist. The gray pools of his eyes this close were deep and hypnotizing. Rhodes was so handsome in that moment—so much more than usual—all partially scowling and so focused on me, it was easy to forget we weren’t in the middle of the woods, just the two of us alone. “He was an idiot. Only somebody that’s never talked to you or seen you would think you were the lucky one.” Rhodes’s gaze flicked to my mouth, and he let out a soft sigh through his nose, his words a hoarse whisper. “Nobody in their right mind would let you walk away from them. Not once and no way in hell twice, angel.”
My heart.
My limbs went numb.
We looked at one another for so long, the only thing I could hear was our steady breaths. But eventually, with this loaded moment strung so tightly between us, he looked away first. Mouth parted, eyes going to the top of the tent before he picked up the tablet and tapped the screen all while clearing his throat. “Ready to watch the movie?”
No, no, I wasn’t, but somehow I managed to say, “Yes.”
And that was what we did.
Chapter Twenty-One
I scrubbed my hand over the back of my neck as I filled the last of my water bottles. Through the window overlooking the sink, the sun was barely beginning to peek out. If I’d had just about any other plans, I would have still been in the tent from last night.
Only my mom could get me to roll out of bed this early. I’d had a dream about her the night before. It wasn’t that I could remember what had happened in it, because I couldn’t, but there was a certain feel to my dreams when she was in them. I woke up happier. The happiness usually tapered into sadness, but not the bad kind.