Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 74548 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 298(@250wpm)___ 248(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74548 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 298(@250wpm)___ 248(@300wpm)
And I just couldn’t explain it to him. I couldn’t find the words to tell him how much sex had always terrified me, how the idea of being penetrated, even though a part of me longed for it, filled me with fear and panic. Well, probably I didn’t actually need to explain that to him. He was seeing it for himself right now.
“Do you want to try that tonight? Or do you want to wait?” He was so sweet, so patient.
“Please,” I began, before my voice ran out.
“Please wait?” he guessed.
I shook my head no, and made myself say, “I don’t want to wait. I want this.”
He pulled back to look at me, and caressed my cheek. “Are you sure? If you’re not ready, there’s no hurry.”
“I need to do this,” I whispered as I hugged him to me. “I need to get past my fear. And I know you won’t hurt me.”
He held me for a long moment, and then he took my hand and brought me back to the bed. I lay down on my back and looked up at him, swallowing the tightness in my throat. “I’m going to get a couple things, angel. You wait here.” And he went into the bathroom.
I got up and pulled aside the big, downy comforter, and then crawled back into bed, lying on the soft, dark blue sheets on my stomach, hands beneath my head. You can do this, I told myself, trying to give myself a pep talk. So what if you’re afraid? That’s not an excuse anymore, remember?
Dante was back a minute later, and set a couple things on the mattress as he sat beside me, so close his hip rested against my side. The contact was a comfort, and I reached out and caressed his bare thigh. He’d stripped down to just a pair of boxers. He stroked my back gently, soothingly. And he said softly, “I think you’d like this best if I was holding you while I fingered you.”
I nodded in agreement and slid over, and he climbed into bed and lay back against the pillows. I wasn’t sure what to do, but he held his arms out to me and I crawled on top of him, straddling his thighs and laying down on his chest, most of my weight borne on my knees and elbows. And then his strong arms were around me, holding me securely. “You sure you want to do this tonight, Charlie?” His voice was so soft.
“Yes. You’re going to take good care of me. I know you will.”
“Oh angel,” he whispered, and he held me to him, kissing my hair, my cheek. I raised myself up and my mouth found his, and he kissed me deeply. I parted my lips for him and his tongue stroked mine, and arousal stirred deep within me.
After a few minutes of kissing and caressing, his hand slid down my back, his movements slow and intentional. He was trying not to startle me. My heart flip-flopped as he took hold of one of my cheeks and spread me gently. And then the fingertips of his other hand massaged up and down my crack, grazing over my opening. Just breathe, I told myself, as his fingertip began to lightly circle my hole.
Dante kept this up for a while, and as I calmed down a little I marveled at his patience. Finally, he picked up something from the mattress, and I turned my head to see what he was doing. He held up a pump bottle of lotion where I could see it, one arm around my waist. And then deftly, with one hand, he dispensed a little lotion into his palm, then set the bottle back down and closed his hand around the white liquid. It occurred to me after a moment that he was warming it up.
He slid his other hand back down to my butt and spread me again, and I wrapped my arms tightly around his shoulders. I felt the cream being applied to my opening, and then he was gently pushing inside me. A little sound escaped me, almost a whimper, and I probably would have been mortified at that if I’d had the capacity to be anything besides terrified just then.
When just his fingertip was in me, he held his hand still and let me get used to it. And then slowly, slowly, he worked his finger into me. I went right on clinging to him, my face pressed into his shoulder, taking comfort in him. Which maybe was odd, since he was actually what was causing me distress right now.
Once his finger was deep inside me, he held his hand still again and asked softly, “You doing ok, Charlie?” When I nodded, he started sliding his finger in and out of me. And it felt…good, I realized. Really, really good.