Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 80660 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80660 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Alexei shook his head as if waking from the trance he’d fallen into. His shoulders slumped and he sighed. “And now you think I’m a psychopath.”
“Alexei—” He leaned forward, reaching across the table, but Alexei waved off his hand.
“He taught me about integrity, about being a real defender of people. Gabriel and Justin go after people who have hurt others.”
“That’s why you chose this line of work, to help people who had been hurt by others like your grandfather and other family members,” Soren quickly filled in. “There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re putting your life on the line for other people, and they will never know how you’ve saved them.”
“Wow. I’ve gone from sounding like a psychopath to a superhero in a matter of seconds. That’s impressive.”
Soren shrugged. “No matter how I spin it, I’m a self-centered, reckless asshole.”
“Yeah, but so am I. It’s not only about doing something good. I really like getting paid. I like traveling and doing something dangerous. The rush. The adrenaline surging through my veins.” He held his hands up in front of him, clenched into fists as he sucked in a deep breath. “I feel alive and in control of my own life.”
“It’s addictive.”
He opened his hands and looked at them before shaking his head. “And yeah, maybe I also want to show all the family members who looked at me and saw only a weak, pathetic kid that I’m not useless. I want to prove that I can do all the things my uncle can do. I want to be as great and feared as he is.”
And that made even more sense. Dismissed by the males of the family and shielded by his mother, Alexei wanted to prove that he was more than they all believed he could be.
Soren reached across the table, threaded his fingers through Alexei’s, and squeezed. “I believe you can be anything you want. I’ve never known anyone as capable or brilliant as you.”
A blush stole across Alexei’s cheeks, but he still met Soren’s gaze. “You know you don’t have to say such sweet things to get in my pants.”
He hated that Alexei dismissed his comment so quickly, but he got it. There was nothing to be gained by getting too serious. They were better off keeping things light and fun. “Yeah, but I figured it didn’t hurt either.”
Lifting their hands to his lips, Alexei brushed a kiss across his thumb. “Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
A few minutes later, the server returned with their food, allowing them to let conversation fall away in favor of delicious food. But Alexei surprised him when he softly asked after a while, “Did you always want to work for the Company?”
Soren rocked his head from side to side as he chewed the bite of food in his mouth. “I hadn’t really thought it was an option. I was recruited in college. I spoke Farsi fluently because I’d learned it from a friend growing up, and I learned Arabic and Turkish while in college. They were in desperate need of translators. But once I joined, they discovered that I was quite good at a variety of skills that were useful for field work. I could serve as a bridge between the European and Middle-Eastern worlds. I found that I liked the excitement and challenges. I liked being able to think on my feet.”
“Did you ever think you’d made the wrong choice? That it wasn’t for you?”
Soren picked at his food with his fork, frowning as his stomach twisted with memories he’d rather keep buried. “More than once. I prefer to be independent. I was not always great working on teams or following orders. I had missions canceled or was told to back off when I knew it was best to push forward. I hated knowing that I technically didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things despite the fact that I was putting my life on the line. And then there were times when people on my team got hurt. There was nothing I could do about it. It’s why going solo always felt so right to me.”
“Yeah, I get that,” Alexei murmured, glaring at his food.
Before Soren could ask him what was bothering him, Alexei pasted a painfully fake smile on his face and changed the subject to a shop they’d seen on their walk that he wanted to visit as they headed to the house again. It was clear that something was upsetting him, but he didn’t want to talk about it.
Soren knew he’d said something that had ruined his good mood, but he couldn’t figure out what it was. They finished their meal talking about nothing important at all and then wandered through the district. They popped into a shop specializing in handmade soaps and lotions, where Alexei spent time smelling almost everything they had. He finally settled on a couple of small bottles of lotion and a candle.