Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 117176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 586(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 586(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
“It is when it has to do with Grace,” he said sharply.
My eyes turned into slits, glaring at the man standing in front of me – questioning me as if he had the right to – as if he knew what it felt like to live with the man I loved, yet he loathed me with every cell in his body.
“Our secrets were buried with her,” I said, trying to be firm, but the moment the words were spilled, I realized how weak they sounded.
He arched an eyebrow, almost mockingly. “You can’t bury a secret like that. It will come back to haunt you, now or tomorrow. One day, for sure.”
I shook my head but Simon took a step forward, advancing toward me. “You fooled him, then and now. That’s not fair, Julianna.”
My fingers clenched the fabric of my dress. “You don’t know what’s fair.”
“You’re not the only one hurting,” Simon snapped. “Stop making yourself out to be the martyr.”
“I was the one in that car with her,” I hissed. “You don’t know what that’s like.”
“I understand it was traumatic–”
I scoffed. “Traumatic? That’s an easy word to describe looking into your sister’s bloodied and mangled face for three hours, staring into her dead eyes with the pungent scent of death cocooning you. That’s not trauma, Simon. That’s hell.”
We stared at each other for a minute too long, both of us breathing heavily, the tension thick in the air.
I swallowed numbly and shook my head. “I’m so – I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair to you.”
When Simon didn’t respond, only kept staring at me like he was seeing a ghost, I let out a muffled sob. “Why are you here?”
“I guess I wanted to torture myself some more.”
I ruined so many lives that night…
And we were all stuck in a never-ending loop of torment and rage. How do we break free? I didn’t fucking know. I didn’t know where to start or how to end this suffering, because I was the reason behind it all.
“Did you know? That Grace was pregnant with your baby?” I whispered.
He shook his head sharply. “She didn’t tell me but I knew.”
Simon took a deep breath, his wide chest rattling from it. His fists clenched at his sides.
“Her period was late. Then, I saw the small changes on her body. And she was sick in the morning for two weeks straight,” he explained. “I was her bodyguard, Julianna. I was supposed to notice every little detail about her. I was waiting for her to tell me.”
I was the first to find out about Gracelynn’s pregnancy. I still remembered vividly the look of pure terror on her face, before it morphed into a confused giggle and happy tears. I was the one who held her when she broke down – when she realized that a baby would change everything.
She was betrothed to one man.
But loved another.
She danced with one man.
But made love to another.
Gracelynn was set to marry Killian.
But was carrying Simon’s baby.
“And she never got a chance to,” I murmured. “Do you hate me?”
Simon gave me a bittersweet smile. “I want to. I think I do hate you, but I’m also bound by the vows I made to Grace.”
I flinched at the mention of vows. The vows I was familiar with only came with destruction, violence and rage. My failed marriage began with such promises.
“What vows?”
“She asked me – no – she told me to always take care of you if anything ever happens to her. I don’t think you know how much she loved and adored you. Grace would have used herself as a shield to protect you if she had to.”
It felt like my chest had been split open, sending tiny cracks of my heart and fissures of my soul in all direction. A single tear slid down my scarred cheek, hidden behind my masquerade mask. “I know.”
“I can’t even scream at you or hurt you for all the pain you’ve caused – because it would go against all of what Grace would have wanted. So, I’m bound by my vows and Gracelynn’s love. I hate you, but I can’t hate you.”
His words made me want to crawl into a ball and die. He didn’t even realize it but every word he spoke stabbed me with such ruthlessness; I didn’t know if I could bleed more than I already did. “So, you’re forced to tolerate me with that smile on your lips and with such pain in your eyes. How cruel.”
Simon shoved his hands into the pockets of his slacks, rocking back onto the balls of his feet. He stared at me for a moment, his eyes going to my left hand, where I was moving my wedding ring around my finger. I had been doing it unconsciously until he brought my attention to it.