Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 68697 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 343(@200wpm)___ 275(@250wpm)___ 229(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68697 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 343(@200wpm)___ 275(@250wpm)___ 229(@300wpm)
I sigh. “I do want him. But that doesn’t mean anything more is going to happen.”
“Something might,” Zane needles.
I lean back in the booth, spreading my arms wide over the back of the seat. “You must really want to win the bet.”
But his expression is unusually serious. “Fuck the bet. I give you hell because you think you’re so cool and calm.” He leans forward, seeming intent on his message. “But you’re only fooling yourself if you believe there’s nothing there but fun and games.”
“Yeah?” An ominous prickle runs down my spine. “Why’s that?”
Zane shrugs knowingly. “This man makes you do things you’ve never done. Blow a kiss to the camera, disappear into a suite, send a thirst trap, and then go all quiet on a plane—this guy is under your skin, no mistake.”
I gulp. “You . . . noticed?” I didn’t realize my introspective mood on the plane yesterday was so apparent.
He smiles. “I’m your friend. Of course, I noticed.”
I have no comeback for that.
“You were quiet, dude,” Zane continues, speaking with genuine concern. “You’re never quiet. You love to shoot the shit or watch TV or hang out. But yesterday, you were all up in your head.”
I sigh and drop my forehead into my hand. My body is full of tension and my mind is full of questions.
“I don’t know,” I mutter, then look up with a grimace. “I think I’m a little obsessed with him.” It’s a relief to say it. Like I’ve been carrying around this secret. “Listen, can I tell you something?”
“Of course you can.”
I’m not embarrassed about my lack of experience, per se. Still, only Rafe knows what I’m about to say, and I need to talk to a friend right now more than I need to talk to a lover. “I’ve never been with a guy. I’ve just made out. And with Rafe, I kind of want to do everything.”
Zane’s smile is electric. “You picked The Underwear King for your first ride on the Dude Merry-Go-Round? That’s going to be hard to resist.”
“Trust me, I know. He’s hard to walk away from.”
“Then why walk away?” Zane asks.
I swallow and bite off the next bit of truth. “The more I have of him, the more I want.”
The server arrives with our food, and I thank her.
“Enjoy,” she replies.
Before we tuck in, Zane says in a serious tone, “Dude, no shade from me. I’m a lover. You know I didn’t expect to fall hard and fast for my agent. But I did, and now I can’t imagine a life without Maddox. So, I get that you’re falling for Rafe whether you want to or not.”
But I can’t let that happen. I just can’t.
As we eat and talk, the conversation swings back to sports.
And I welcome the break. He tells me he and his dude are going to hang out with Tanner when the Comets come to town next month.
“Does Maddox rep Tanner now?”
Zane squares his shoulders. “He reps all the best players. And all the best queer players.”
I snort. “You wish.”
When I duck into my room after we return to the hotel, I feel a little lighter. Maybe I can handle this storm of new sensations. Maybe I am only obsessed with the physical and the way Rafe makes me want to do things I haven’t done before.
I can stave off those deeper feelings. Hell, I have to.
But when I get into bed and check my phone, I feel a bit empty because there’s no note from Rafe. If I say no, there won’t be any ever again.
29
THE TWIST
Gunnar
I have two special guests at the ballpark on Sunday. My mom flew up from Virginia and my little brother, Charlie, took the train from Connecticut, where he goes to college.
Owen meets my family and me by the first-base line and gives them a tour of the Comets ballpark, along with the Comets PR guy.
“Don’t even think about changing allegiances and becoming a Comets fan,” I tell my mom when we return to her section of the stands.
She gives me a sneaky grin, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “But this is such a nice ballpark.”
Charlie adopts a serious expression. “Much nicer than yours, Gun,” he says.
Owen clears his throat. “I’m so sorry I arranged for that tour,” he deadpans.
Mom smiles and then brings Owen in for a hug. “That was lovely. Thank you.”
Once he takes off to do PR things, I sit with Mom and Charlie for a few minutes, catching up. Mom shows me pics of the new screened-in pool she enjoys in the summers.
“You’re living the life, Mom,” I say, proud that I could do this for her. She still lives modestly in a standard three-bedroom house. But she owns it outright and doesn’t have to worry about bills. That’s all that matters.
“And loving it, sweetheart,” she says, patting my thigh, currently covered by my baseball pants.