Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Then I felt my hands itch with the need to tell her somehow. I placed my phone on the table beside me and picked up the journal we had been given by Mia and Leo. Opening the page, I did just that—I let myself confide in my big sister like I always had …
My Dearest Poppy, I began, and for once I didn’t fight back the grief that I had been holding off for way too long. I read your first entry today. I blinked away tears but held strong. I miss you so much. Hearing from you after so long was like visiting heaven itself, only to be told I had been there too long, and it was time to go home. I thought of my day. Then thought of Cael and me on the jetty. I’m not doing well, Pops. I’ve been sent on a trip to help me cope with your loss. I didn’t think it would help. I brought the bottom of the pen to my lips while I thought of what to say next, then began writing again. But I have met a boy. His name is Cael …
And I wrote to my sister. Wrote to her like no time had passed. Like she was simply in another place in the world, remote and unable to answer my calls. Alive and well and waiting for my letters to reach her.
And when I put down the pen, there was a new ease to my breathing. The weight I constantly carried on my sternum was a fraction lighter. Placing my head on the pillow, I closed my eyes and tried to chase sleep. But then Cael’s face came into my head and my heart squeezed again as I replayed his confession. Cillian. His brother was named Cillian Woods. I wanted to make sure I never forgot it. He deserved to be remembered.
I thought about Cael’s cracked voice, the kiss to my hair, his cheek against my head. And I ran my fingers over the hand that he had held so tightly while shedding his deepest trauma.
It still felt warm.
Shared Secrets and Farewell Skies
Cael
STEPHAN:
Your mom said you’re away. Just checking in. Miss you, man.
I STARED AT STEPHAN’S MESSAGE, THEN LEFT IT ON READ AND MUTED MY cell. His unanswered messages were now in their hundreds, and I had ignored every one of them. The truth was, I couldn’t face my best friend. I couldn’t face my parents. They’d texted me constantly since being here, and I had ignored every single one. Their calls too. I left it to Mia and Leo to tell them I was safe.
I couldn’t face anyone from home. Especially now. I was split open from yesterday with Savannah. I couldn’t stop thinking about finding her out on the ledge, sobbing and falling apart. How she’d been shaking with fury, the same destructive emotion that lived in my veins. How she’d screamed at me, her pretty face contorted with pain. And I couldn’t stop thinking about the jetty. Her vulnerability, her honesty. How when I held her hand, it felt easier to breathe. Why? What had it meant? Being beside her, holding her … it had given me a moment of peace I never got. And it only grew deeper with what she’d told me.
What I’d told her.
Cillian.
I hadn’t even meant to. It just … tore from me, like the confession was clawing to get out and just be heard by somebody else.
I’d told somebody about Cill. I’d told Savannah about Cill … I didn’t know how to feel about it. I felt different this morning. I was completely shaken. The darkness was still there, lying low in my veins, but … shit, I’d told someone about Cillian. And the bitterness within me wasn’t quite so strong. It wasn’t consuming my every waking minute. I’d forgotten what this even felt like.
What was happening?
“You ready?” Travis said as I packed the last of my clothes in my case, lost to my thoughts. Today was our last climb. Tomorrow, we left for Norway. Unaware of how rattled and confused I was, Travis waited for me in the doorway as I grabbed my coat and hiking boots. He was always trying to reach out his hand for friendship. I’d shunned him at every point.
He was kicking the floor with his toe. “Sorry if I’m a lot,” he said out of nowhere. It shocked me still. I met his eyes. “I don’t have many friends, especially not after …” He shook his head and started for the stairs, leaving what he was saying unfinished.
I didn’t know if it was Savannah’s influence or if it was that I wasn’t feeling myself, but I called out, “Trav.” Travis turned, freckled face red from embarrassment. “We’re cool.”
A long exhale left his chest and made me feel like a total prick. Truth was, I hadn’t gotten to know anyone on this trip. Ignored them all and hadn’t cared who’d been caught in my cross fire.