Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Cael stilled, then turned around. I felt my pulse race, blood rushing through my veins. And I caught what looked like a hopeful expression on Cael’s handsome face. It was so raw, so open, so sincere … so vulnerable that it shattered my heart. “I …” I cut myself off, clutching my paperback to my chest. The wind picked up, tossing my hair over my face. “He may need a friend …” Ida’s words circled my head. Cael shook his head in frustration and made a move to leave again, when my feet propelled me forward and I said, “I’ll come with you.”
Cael exhaled a long, deep breath, and in that moment, I understood. He didn’t want to be alone. As standoffish as he was, as cloaked in darkness as he was, he was lonely and didn’t know how to ask for company.
Cael’s eyes narrowed as he observed me. For a moment, I thought he had changed his mind; then he slowly stretched out his hand. Nerves accosted me, but I took a breath, just like Mia and Leo had taught us, and I placed my hand in Cael’s. His smothered my own, but his grip was firm, and as he gently drew me closer, he rasped, “Can I?” I didn’t understand what he meant, until he placed his hands on my waist, and I realized he wanted to lift me onto the boat.
“Yes,” I whispered, his hands on me causing those butterflies to flutter in my chest again. Cael picked me up like I weighed nothing at all. I gripped on to his biceps. He was muscled and lithe beneath my fingers. Travis had mentioned something about ice hockey in the airport. It hadn’t gone down well with Cael at all, but that must have been where he got his fitness and athletic physique from.
“Thank you,” I said and sat on one of the wooden plinths. Effortlessly, Cael climbed inside. “Your jeans,” I said, seeing they were soaked to the knee. It was freezing outside. A flare of panic cut through me. He could get sick. The thought of anyone getting sick these days sent me into a blind panic.
“I’m used to the cold,” he said in response, then sat down and picked up the oars. He began rowing, the boat quickly taking us from the hostel’s short shore to the wider depths of the vast lake. Other boats milled in the background, tourist cruisers lapping around the perimeter in the distance.
Cael was focused, pushing himself as hard as he physically could. The boat cut through the lake like a hot knife through butter. I held on to the side, the wind picking up in conjunction with Cael’s speed. His face was flushed, and his breathing began to quicken. Minutes passed and sweat began to pour down his face. But Cael kept going, kept exorcizing the anger that seemed to live in a limitless stream inside of him.
It made me think of what Mia and Leo had told us about the stages of grief. That for some, one stage held them captive longer. I wasn’t sure where I sat. I seemed to feel any of them on a given day.
The farther into the lake we got, the more the beauty of the place became apparent. From this new perspective, the lake looked completely different. Snow-capped mountains surrounded us; bare-branched trees housing thousands of birds stood proudly on small, isolated islands. I closed my eyes and felt the ice-cold wind hit my face. It stirred something inside of me. It made me feel somewhat … alive.
I didn’t realize Cael had stopped rowing until the breeze on my face died and I opened my eyes. I swallowed back nerves when I saw Cael was watching me. The anger he was holding on to seemed to have dimmed, and that deep kind of desolation returned to his silver-blue eyes. Seeing me watching him back, Cael removed his beanie and ran his hand through his messy hair. He was rarely without it, and the sight of him hat-free … he was beautiful.
Cael looked out at the people on the other side of the lake. The tourists. Eating ice cream, feeding ducks, booking lake tours. I followed his line of sight. They seemed so carefree. So unburdened.
“What are you reading?” Cael’s graveled voice sounded exhausted. I wasn’t surprised. He had rowed at a breakneck speed until he clearly couldn’t go anymore. But I also knew it wasn’t just physical exhaustion that had brought him to this place. Life was exhausting too.
I had been clutching the book to my chest. When I pulled it away, I said, “It’s about the Lake poets.”
Cael’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Who?”
“The Lake poets.” I gestured around us. “Famous English poets who came to the Lake District to get away from the hustle and bustle of city living in the nineteenth century. They wanted to live among nature and rest and live a slower-paced life. They wanted a place to be in touch with their feelings.”