Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
But I knew she was there, waiting in the wind.
“Poppy …” I said, my voice sounding so loud in the silent space. “I know you can hear me,” I said. I squeezed my eyes shut. “I read your final notebook entry last night.” I hitched a breath, and my eyes filled with tears. “It was so beautiful. You were so beautiful. I hope you know that.” I smiled through my quiet cries. “You said goodbye to me last night, so it is only right that it is my turn to say goodbye to you today.” I clutched the phone tighter. “Only I don’t want to. Because, if this trip and your notebook have taught me anything, it’s that I believe, with my entire heart and soul, is that you are with me.” I sniffed and took a deep breath. My chest felt raw and sore.
“When you died, my entire world imploded. But now I feel you around me. I see you in the stars. I see you in my dreams. And now I’m talking to you on this phone.”
I wiped my cheeks and stilled as a butterfly landed on a flower outside of the phone booth. It was once a caterpillar, transformed into a butterfly. That butterfly, as beautiful as it was, would only have a short life. But its beauty would remain in the memories of all who saw it.
“I love you more than all the stars in the sky, Poppy. I will never not grieve for all the time that you are missing for my life, yet I will cherish the blessings you gave to me while you were here.” My cries ebbed and my breathing steadied. “Don’t worry about us,” I whispered, wanting her to be free. “Take care, my beloved sister. I adore you. I love you. And I will miss you every minute of every day,” I said and then placed the phone back onto the holder.
The butterfly took flight, and I watched it soar on the breeze toward the sky until it had vanished out of sight. I closed my eyes and smiled, even more so when I smelled the sweet scent of vanilla taking up the space around me.
Then I opened the door to outside, seeing my friends, and the love of my life, all waiting, holding hands, proud expressions upon their faces. And I just knew, could feel it deep in my heart …
… I was going to be okay.
Silent Voices and Turning Points
Cael
THE PEACE ON SAVANNAH’S FACE AS SHE EXITED THE PHONE BOOTH WAS A double-edged sword. One the one hand, I was so proud, so full to the brim with happiness for my girl, that she had been brave enough to bare her soul to the sister she missed so much. So proud of how she was now, walking with her back straight and her chin held high. But on the other hand, it made me so damn aware of how much work I still had to do. Things I didn’t want to face. Pain I didn’t want to endure.
Leo’s hand came on my shoulder. “Again, you don’t have to, son.”
Savannah’s grip tightened in my hand. I glanced down at her. Her blue eyes were wide and full of conflict for me. I wanted to be better for her. Hell, I wanted to be better for myself.
“I can do it,” I rasped, and Leo studied my face. After a few seconds, he nodded, but his eyes were cautious. I knew he was worried for me.
Just before I released Savannah’s hand, she pressed a kiss to the back of it and stepped away. As I walked forward, I held on to the feel of her kiss, still branded on my skin. Walking to the phone booth was like walking the green mile. To me, the phone booth didn’t look enticing but rather like my biggest fears made flesh.
I stopped at the door and forced myself to open it. The silence was deafening on the inside, the lack of sound piercing my ears like it was a painful high-pitched frequency. Then I placed my hand on the phone. It felt cold and hard. My chest began moving up and down. Too quick. My breathing was too fast. Sweat beaded on my brow, but I took a deep breath and made myself pick up the receiver. It shook as I brought it to my ear.
Just imagining Cillian on the other side, waiting for me to speak, crushed me. My voice became lost in my throat, and like it did so often, that night played in my head like a movie reel. Showed Cillian crashing in surround sound and in high definition. I tried to speak, but no sound came. And despite my effort, my knees buckled and I dropped to the ground. The phone hung off the shelf, swinging back and forth. I let it go, wanting to tell Cillian how much I loved him, how I missed him and how life without him, somedays, felt like no life at all. But all I saw was him broken in my arms … gone.