Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 94686 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94686 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
But I didn’t really escape. I inhaled Viv’s perfume. Naw. Some problems stay close no matter what I do to run from them.
“I thought you always hated the sunrise.” Viv said.
“I’m not here for the sunrise. I’m here to watch the dark sky, for just a little bit longer.” My feet weren’t on the blanket like the rest of my body. They lay in a hill of cool sand. It was the story of my life. No bed ever truly fit me. No blanket could ever cover all of me. My toes usually remained cold and dangling.
“So you’re here for the stars, as usual?” Viv asked.
“Yes.”
“And what are they telling you tonight?”
“To take Jazz and go home.”
“No way. Which one is saying that? I like that star.”
I closed my eyes. “Why did you come out here with me, Viv?”
“Because I didn’t want to be in that house. It’s like a prison. I couldn’t breathe. You know how I am when I get like that. I just needed to get out of whatever artificial foundation I’m housed in, take off my shoes, and sink my toes into the earth. It makes me feel connected. All of this stuff out here is breathing. It’s alive—the ocean, sky, grass, trees, all of it. I just feel better when I’m linked to nature. You know what I mean? We’re alike that way.”
I refused to agree. With the way I was feeling, anything that reminded me of how good we could be together would just simply push me over the edge.
“What was that thing you used to always say in your letters right before you put ‘Love, Troy’?”
“I don’t remember.”
“You’re such a liar.”
“You are, too. You remember what I would say.”
She blew out a long breath. “Of course I remember. How can I ever forget? You would always say, ‘Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.’”
She just won’t let me forget us.
“Why did you always put that in your letters?” she asked.
“Because like the night, your love was the only thing I wasn’t afraid of.”
My body hummed with the memories of the nights when I wrote those letters. Only the moonlight helped me see. Night could be a dangerous time in prison. Guys chose to kill when the lights turned off. Others masturbated and at times decided that their hands were no longer enough, and that maybe that guy in the cot next to them would fit just right. I didn’t sleep much at night, not because of the dangers. My brothers kept me safe. Half the time their reputations alone served as enough of a deterrent to stay away from me. No. I wrote to Viv and gazed at the stars.
“You never told me who wrote those two lines.” Viv disturbed my thoughts.
“This poet named Sarah Williams.”
“They’re’ beautiful. I’ve always thought that.” The sound of rustling came from her side. She must’ve been moving. I kept my eyes closed, hoping she wouldn’t come over to me like she would when we were together. But she did. Viv laid her head against my chest. My body stiffened. I did my best to not breathe her in anymore, run my fingers through her silky hair, or even capture her lips with mine. I remained still and just allowed myself these seconds of her on me. Guilt mingled with lust. Desire tussled with logic. Viv would let me fuck her if I asked. There was no doubt. Her body shivered against mine, and it wasn’t the cool wind brushing against our skin. She always trembled when I kissed or touched her, as if just I alone could stir her hormones into a bustling frenzy.
“I miss you,” she whispered.
Why is she doing this? Why can’t she just let us go?
“Do you remember what you used to say in your letters about the stars?” she asked.
“No.”
“You’re such a liar. How could you forget?”
“Because none of that means anything to me anymore.”
She hit me on the chest. It was a pitiful little thump with no strength. I’d had kittens do more damage to my body. Opening my eyes, I took her off my chest, edged back a little, rolled over on my side, and glared. I shouldn’t have. So close, she was too goddamned much. That soft, pale flesh glowed in the moonlight. I yearned to touch her, slip my fingers along her skin, and taste every cell. I’d done it before, torn her clothes off, bent her over, and taken her from behind like I couldn’t breathe unless my dick pushed through that silky opening. God, I could taste her flesh on my tongue in that moment. It was salty and sweet, lush and strong enough to wear the imprint of my teeth and the red spots where I’d sucked for too long out of pure madness.