Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 92133 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 461(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92133 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 461(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
Tears filled my eyes and the image of my husband went blurry. At some point, I think he caught me.
“Fucking kill them,” Andrei said.
“I … I…”
“Shut the fuck up, Adelaide. Conserve your strength. You’re not dying on me.”
“I … I’m so cold.”
My hands were like blocks of ice.
The world had already started to spin.
Sickness swirled in my gut, and the noise that had been almost deafening seemed to fade into nothing.
Peace.
That was what I wanted.
Was it so hard to ask for? To not be part of this world anymore?
I’d never longed for death. My life wasn’t a great one, but there were moments of happiness, of joy, of … life. That’s what I wanted. Not this marriage. Not to be connected to the Volkov Bratva.
I wanted to be alone, and as the world started to fall away, I wondered if death would be my one salvation.
Chapter One
Adelaide
Six Months Earlier
It wasn’t normal to fear your husband on your wedding night. Not unless it was an historical romance novel, and trust me, this wasn’t. Staring around the hotel room, I noticed it was far more luxurious than my bedroom last night, which had just a single bed. Bethany had demanded to be put in better accommodations, so our parents switched the rooms. Like always, I’m lucky to get anything, not that I’m complaining. It’s easier to keep quiet and just let Bethany get anything she wants. If I don’t, there’s always a consequence where I’m the one who ends up paying.
Andrei hadn’t said a word, but then, he’d not said anything to me for most of the day. Apart from, “I’m here now, pretend to be fucking happy.”
I’m not sure exactly what Aurora said to him, but either way, his presence kept Bethany away from me, and for that I’m grateful. My sister is a spiteful soul. Even though she was the one who fucked up in this situation, our parents still treated her like she was a princess, rather than a disappointment, which was how I got treated. Between the dress and the cake, everything about this day had gone wrong.
Staring at the bed, I know there’s no way I’m going to sit on that thing. I can’t. With Andrei being his usual quiet self, I decide to leave him to it.
I’ll figure some way of getting out of this monstrosity of a dress. I’ve never been the kind of woman to think in advance about her wedding. I never spent hours cooing over celebrity events, even the ones we were invited to. This wedding was all Bethany. The bride may have changed, but the dress, the cake, the band, the guests—they’d all been her choice. This wedding had been a nightmare. The only part of it I found deeply comforting was Aurora. Another woman married to a member of the Bratva. At least she’d looked happy. Could any woman married into this kind of life truly be happy? Was Slavik in love with her?
Love. This world didn’t believe in love. It revolved around constant greed and desire for money.
I stepped into the bathroom and moved straight to the sink. I gripped the edge, closing my eyes, seeing spots even as I did this.
Breathe. Just breathe.
I counted to ten slowly, taking my time, filling my lungs with precious air, and slowly exhaled.
The panic attack today was the first one I’d ever experienced and once again, big surprise, that it was after my sister told me what a monster Andrei was in the bedroom. Tonight, we had to consummate the marriage.
I’d never kissed a man, or even hugged one.
Now I was expected to sleep with a total stranger. Whenever Andrei had been around with Bethany, I’d been out. My life didn’t mesh with my family’s. Their only demand on me was that I not work. For some odd reason they feared their reputation if I was to find a nice normal job. So, volunteering at the animal shelter I was allowed to do, and I loved it. Being around animals all day was heaven.
Once, when I was ten I think, I’d started to bring stray cats and dogs home. No one ever entered the basement, so that was where I offered them shelter. For several months I was able to help so many cats and dogs. Sometimes they’d leave, wander off for a couple of weeks but come back, looking for a nice warm place. My mother hated the cold—one of the few traits I inherited from her—so even the basement in our house was nice and warm, not that she ever went down there.
Anyway, taking care of them was my safe haven. Every single day after school, I’d run home to love them, to show them affection, until my sister discovered it. Within an hour, they were all taken from me. Rounded up by some animal control guy as if they were vermin or something.