Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 85274 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85274 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Lincoln Alexander might think he’s too old for me, but he’s wrong. A fourteen-year age gap is nothing when you’re desperate to feel alive again.
The wealthy business owner has only ever seen me as off limits, but he has the power to put me back together—to chase away my demons with just his touch.
So, for one intense night, without him knowing who I am, I put my trust and pleasure in his hands.
My plan is to walk away, ready to move forward with my life, but when the doctor tells me that I’m pregnant, I find myself taking two steps back.
Lincoln
One night isn’t enough with the masked, green-eyed woman who walked into my club and turned my world upside down.
After I gave her what she wanted, again and again, she walked away without a trace.
When I finally discover the identity of the mysterious beauty who stole my heart on Valentine’s Day—and the secret she’s been keeping—my heart stops.
Ellie Bardot is all grown up, but I remember the innocent girl she was, even if she doesn’t. I hate that she lied to me, almost as much as I hate that I still want her.
Now I’m torn between being the man she needs me to be and doing the right thing.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: this story contains subjects that may be sensitive for some readers. Content warnings (which contain major spoilers) can be found on Nikki’s website.
*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************
A RISK WORTH TAKING PLAYLIST
2Step – Ed Sheeran
Numb – Marshmello & Khalid
Crush – David Archuleta
The Heart Wants What It Wants – Selena Gomez
Over My Head – The Fray
Numb Little Bug – Em Beihold
There’s No Way – Lauv
When You’re Gone – Shawn Mendez
Beautiful Mistakes – Maroon 5 & Megan Thee Stallion
Thank God – Kane Brown & Katelyn Brown
Listen to all my playlists here: Nikki Ash’s Playlists
I don’t think anyone is ever ready, but when someone makes you feel alive again, it’s kind of worth the risk.
– Nikki Rowe
CHAPTER ONE
ELLIE
The Present
“Stop! Please...Please don’t do this...” I kick my feet out, aiming for his dick, but as I’m about to connect, I’m flipped onto my stomach like a rag doll, my elbows barely catching me before my chin hits the concrete.
He shoves my shorts down my legs, my underwear next.
I squirm, trying to get away, but a pair of hands hold me down while another pushes my thighs apart.
“Please,” I beg, refusing to lie here and take it. “Please don’t—”
“Ellie, what the fuck? Ellie!”
The sound of my name, combined with the shaking of my shoulders, has my eyes snapping open and scanning the room as I gasp for air.
“You okay?” Tim asks.
I glance around and remember where I am: in my condo, on my bed, half naked with my boyfriend of two months. We were working our way toward having sex, until...
“Ellie,” Tim says again. “Are you—?”
“No,” I choke out, shoving him off me. He momentarily loses his balance but quickly catches himself before he falls backward onto the floor.
While tucking my breasts back into my bra, I scramble off the bed and snag my shirt off the ground, throwing it over my head, all while feeling Tim’s eyes on me. Following me. Trying to figure me out.
He won’t, though. None of them ever do. Because I never let them get close enough.
“El,” he finally says, the pity in his tone making me flinch. He hasn’t the first clue what I’ve been through, but it doesn’t take a genius to realize I’m a broken mess that no one can piece back together.
“Please leave,” I tell him, my tone flat even to my own ears.
“What?” he asks, confused as to where this is going—or not going.
“I want you to leave. We’re done,” I say, having yet to meet his gaze. It’s easier this way. I don’t have to see the hurt or confusion in his eyes.
When the heat of his body wraps around mine from behind, his hands seeking to comfort me, I recoil, not wanting any part of him touching me.
It’s clear he’s not going to leave without putting up a fight. Most women probably love a man who will fight for their relationship. I probably would too if I wanted him to fight for us...But I don’t.
“I said we’re done. Please leave.” I turn to face him, my gaze meeting his, so he understands I’m serious.
He stares at me for a long moment and then shakes his head. “I should’ve known better. Mark said you were a coldhearted bitch, but I didn’t listen.” I cringe slightly at his harsh words but don’t argue, because while calling me a bitch is rude, he isn’t wrong, and I did waste two months of his life.
With a huff, he swipes his shirt off the floor, yanks it on, and walks out the door.
I wait until the front door slams before I slide to the floor. My tears are barely halfway down my face when my best friend is barging through my door and on the floor next to me, holding me tightly in her arms.
“Another flashback,” she says with a sigh—not asking, because she already knows the answer. We’ve been roommates for the past three and a half years, and she knows more about me than anyone.
“I tried,” I rasp, knowing that’s not exactly true and hoping she won’t call me out on my white lie.
Of course, Raelyn isn’t having it. “No, you didn’t. You had a flashback and kicked him out.”
“I’m not ready,” I repeat the same three words I say every time I’m looking to end things with a guy right before we have sex.
“You’re never going to be ready if you don’t stay with anyone long enough to let them in. Trust takes time, El.”
“I gave him two months,” I remind her. “There’s no sense in wasting any more of his time if I know I’ll never be able to trust him.” This isn’t the first instance where Tim tried to round second base and I pushed him away. However, today, when the flashback hit hard, I knew it was a lost cause. And since Tim is a twenty-one-year-old red-blooded college student who thinks with his dick, I didn’t see any reason to delay the inevitable. By this weekend he’ll be balls deep in another woman, and next weekend he won’t even remember my name.