Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 117920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 590(@200wpm)___ 472(@250wpm)___ 393(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 590(@200wpm)___ 472(@250wpm)___ 393(@300wpm)
“I can’t find him,” I cry out. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
He stops in front of me, skidding in the snow. He’s wearing pajama pants tucked into boots, and a coat, with another coat in his arms. His eyes are wild, shining in the waning light of the lampposts.
“For helvede,” he swears, putting the coat over my shoulders. “Aurora, what are you doing? You’ve gone mad.”
His hand goes to my cheek and he winces. I barely feel it. You’d think that for the first time he’s touched me in such an intimate way that my body would be dancing with fire, but I can’t feel anything at all. “You’re frozen,” he practically growls at me. “I’m getting you inside.”
“No,” I cry out. “I have to find him.”
“Aurora, I need to get you inside.”
His arms go around my shoulders and he tries to push me toward the palace.
“The girls…” I sob, looking around me, trying in vain to spot him. “They’ll die if he dies. I can’t see them like that. I can’t have them go through that.”
“They’ll understand.”
“They won’t!” I yell at him. “And you’ll blame me!”
He flinches like I’ve slapped him across the face. “Blame you?”
I take the moment to rip out of his grasp and start running along the water, calling for Snarf Snarf over and over again.
Then my foot hits an icy patch of snow and I go sliding forward, trying to catch my balance and falling anyway. My knees crash into the pavement and I yelp, pain shooting through me, making me crumble until my cheek is pressed into the snow.
I’m full-on crying now, everything coming out of me, things that were lying dormant, things I didn’t know still existed. I’m in pain and I’m cold and I feel like I’ve finally found my place in the world, only to realize how temporary it really is.
I finally have a family and they aren’t mine to keep.
I’m crying so hard I barely realize that Aksel is behind me, his warmth coating me like a shroud, pulling me to my feet. I’m both aware that he’s a king and he’s out in public like this and at the same time I’m torn by grief I’d never recognized. Grieving for a loss that hasn’t happened yet.
And just like that, all the energy is drained out of me, like rapidly thawing snow. I collapse back against Aksel and he scoops me up into his arms. I have just enough strength to bury my face into the crook of his neck, trying to hide from everything, trying to breathe.
I hear his heartbeat.
I feel his hot breath on my skin.
I feel the strength of his muscles as they hold me up, protecting me.
It’s the only time I’ve felt protected before. The only time I’ve ever felt safe.
I try and hang onto that feeling as the cold comes for me, again and again, tempered by numbness.
Then the snow stops hitting my cheek and there are bright lights and squeaking floors.
We go up the stairs and Aksel is barking at someone to move the chair to the fireplace.
He gently places me in the chair and I’m swaddled with blanket upon blanket, the fire roaring in front of me.
Then he leaves.
I see Karla’s face peering at me as she tucks the blanket in around my chin, my world slowly rocking back into place. I want to run after him, I want to help, I don’t want to be here, numb and useless. But I have no energy to move. I feel like everything I have is going toward keeping me alive, even though I’d give it all to run out the door and back into the snow.
“Go to your room,” Maja’s voice comes through, dancing with the flames. I manage to raise my head to see her standing behind Clara and Freja who are off to the side of me, looking stunned.
Karla says something about warm soup and disappears.
My eyes meet Clara’s and I wish I could tell her how sorry I am that I came back empty-handed. But she looks more concerned for me than anything else.
“You’re so cold,” she says, putting her hand on my hand, and from that alone I’m melting in my heart. I’ve been so deprived of touch, I’ve had to grow numb to finally feel it.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. She frowns, not understanding. Or perhaps my voice was too shaky, too low, to hear.
“Clara, lad os gå,” Maja says, holding out her hand for her.
I can tell Clara doesn’t want to leave my side. She’s staring at me, torn, filled with sorrow. She’s lost so much at her age.
Then her attention is stolen.
“Papa!” she cries out, and I manage to look over my shoulder to see Aksel enter the room, striding toward us. Snowflakes rest in his hair, on his shoulders, his coat held tight across his chest. His eyes still have that edge, that wildness, as they rake over me, assessing the damage. Then he opens his coat and a little pink snout pops out.