Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 89592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 448(@200wpm)___ 358(@250wpm)___ 299(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 448(@200wpm)___ 358(@250wpm)___ 299(@300wpm)
“When I say watch your mouth, I mean it,” he says sternly.
“Clayton,” I say in warning.
His hand disappears from my flesh, only to come down twice more. I squirm in his lap, my back arching. His groan fills the air and my nipples tighten. I knit my brows—I’ve lost it.
Clayton proves my assumption when he moves his hand between my legs, pushing my panties aside. His fingers glide through my wetness. I try to squirm away defiantly, but his probing fingers still me.
He slips two digits into me, like a key turning to access control of my body. I bite my lip, breathing through my nose. When he starts to pump his fingers through my juices, I can’t keep my hips from moving in sync. He reaches his thumb to massage my other opening, sending shock waves through my body and surprise to my brain.
“Do you want to learn what your body’s capable of?” His rough voice pierces the air.
I refuse to answer. I’m pissed at him for putting me over his knee, no matter how traitorous my body is. I will my breathing to even out.
Here we are, back in the middle of one of our power struggles. It’s been so long since I’ve pushed back. This time, I’m not willing to bow.
Enough is enough, he’s pushing me too far this time. I feel like if I cave now, I’m giving too much. It’s a point of no return. I just feel it.
He stops his ministrations. Again, his hand comes down multiple times, rapidly, never in the same spot. It stings in such a sensuous way. My cheeks warm, both on my face and ass. I can’t believe I’m gushing for this.
“Your body is answering for you, baby, but I want to hear it from your lips. Say it, Sid. You want me to show you what your body is capable of,” he demands.
“No,” I bite out.
“Say it,” he demands again, his voice growing harsher.
“I’m not giving you that kind of control,” I hiss back.
He slowly caresses my ass, but he doesn’t say a word. One fingertip starts to trace a pattern against my skin. My forehead wrinkles when he seems to repeat the pattern a third and fourth time. It’s his name, he’s spelling his name out on my ass.
“I thought I wanted control with you.” His voice comes out tightly. “I can take it. I know how to get you to give it to me willingly, but I still wouldn’t have it. I’ll never have control when it comes to you.”
He falls silent again. I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until he lifts me, positioning me to straddle him. The swing gently sways beneath our weight. He wraps both his hands around my throat and looks into my eyes.
There’s so much emotion there. Like he’s unlocked a vault to allow me full access. He caresses my jaw with his thumbs. He’s watching me as closely as I’m watching him. He tilts his head, his thoughts running across his face too quickly for me to catch them.
“Say it,” he says quietly. “Say the words. Let me give you what you want. Let me open your desires. Say it.”
My lips tremble. I lower my lashes. I know I’m already in love with him. I’ve lost so much control. However, I don’t know how not to be in control on some level. I’ve always had to take care of myself.
I’ve already allowed him so much, not even knowing when. In the past, putting my trust in others has always burned me in some way. Chloe is the only person in the world who I trust fully.
I love Ally like my own little sister, but I’d never burden her with my adult issues. She’ll always be the baby sister I need to help care for.
No, I need control because I have no one I can fall back on. Chloe has always had enough on her plate. I know she would be there for me, but I can’t ask that of her.
“Trust me, Sid. I would never weaken you. I’m offering you power,” he whispers next to my ear, pulling me from my thoughts. “Have I failed you yet?”
“No.” I lift my eyes to his.
“Then, say it.”
It’s more like a plea. His eyes tell me he needs this almost as much as I know I do. Yes, I know I need this. I need to let go, but am I ready for that?
My white-knuckle grip on the control I’ve always held on to tells me I’m not. My pounding heart echoes the same. If it’s this invested already, he’ll destroy it when this is all over. I don’t think I can take the devastation I felt the day I realized my mother wasn’t coming back.
My last year of high school, she abandoned me. I’ll never forget the uncertainty and fear I felt. I had no control over the things going on around me. At least, it felt that way for weeks until it hit me that she wasn’t coming back, and I was all I had. Ms. Sinclair had her own two girls to think about.