Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 83586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Jasper’s gaze darted to mine, then quickly away. “Probably because it is. They’ve been puttin’ pressure on me to settle down. Think I’m too old, but I ain’t looking for that. I mean, with no one. I’m not…”
The screen door closed, their folks going inside.
“You don’t have to tell me that. I said the same thing when we got together. Because I’m a woman, I’m supposed to want to get married and pop out babies? I’m not my mama,” Lacey said. Those words should make me feel better, and in some ways they did, in others they didn’t. Because if it wasn’t Lacey, it would be someone else. To most folks, the Laceys of Ryland would always be better for Jasper than I’d be. As long as no one knew about us, they’d always be trying to set him up or get him to settle down with one woman or another.
“Sorry. I just didn’t want to lead you on,” Jasper replied.
“Which is sweet of you, but I’m good. You gonna be one of those forever bachelors? We’re both bucking the system.”
Again, his eyes shot to mine.
Tell her, tell her, tell her. Jesus, what was wrong with me? Did I have the right to want that from him?
Jasper chuckled, clearly uncomfortable. “Guess you can say that.”
My chest tightened, but I tried to ignore it, as we took the stairs and went inside.
I felt like a third wheel right off. It was obvious what the Finches were thinking: they were pumping Jasper up to Lacey and talking about things they had in common.
I forced myself not to stay too close to him, not to let myself look at him too often or too long, afraid everyone would see in my eyes what he was to me. That the thought of losing him killed me, and how much I wanted to claim him, to tell them he was mine. That I loved him, and I’d always do whatever I could to protect him and take care of him. That I was a man and that wasn’t what they wanted for him, but no one would ever love Jasper the way I did, and wasn’t that what mattered?
We were all in the living room, waiting for dinner. I excused myself to the bathroom more than once. They probably thought I was having stomach issues, when really, it was my heart. The third time I came out, Sherry was just telling us it was time for dinner.
Jasper’s gaze snagged mine, and I could see the questions there. He wanted me to let him know I was okay, so I smiled, hoping that did the trick. I didn’t know why this was getting to me so much. I knew we had to stay a secret. I knew Jasper loved me, that he didn’t want Lacey, and hell, she didn’t want him either, but I just…fuck, I wanted to be right for him in their eyes. I didn’t want him loving me to ever be a burden for him.
Jasper walked beside me into the kitchen. Our fingers brushed briefly, and I knew he’d done it on purpose. Warmth spread up my arm and landed in my chest, but it froze when I saw the table. Even when they had company, Jasper and I had “our” side of the table. We always sat together. But now, as I looked at our two chairs, then at the three across the table for the guests, I realized that third extra chair on the other side was for me, not Lacey. They wanted me across from him. And when Sherry directed Lacey to where I usually sat, my suspicions were confirmed.
Jasper stiffened beside me.
“’S’okay,” I said softly, then went and sat beside Mr. and Ms. Prichard.
We were having fried catfish, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, and rolls. Olivia looked at me and grinned. “How’s your uncle doin’, Sutton?”
“Real good, ma’am. We been playin’ guitar together a lot. Still workin’ at the factory, of course.”
“He’s a good man,” she said. “I never understood why he didn’t get married. The ladies used to go crazy for him when he was younger.”
“Olivia…” Alfred said.
“I’m not gossipin’! Just makin’ conversation,” she replied, and they all laughed.
“He’s happy on his own,” I lied. I wasn’t sure Uncle Brian had ever been happy in his life.
“Well, don’t you boys get any ideas like that. A man needs a good woman by his side.” Olivia patted my hand in a way I knew meant she cared and was trying to be supportive, trying to be like a mom, I figured, but this was the last thing I wanted to talk about.
“You can say that again. Been tellin’ Jasper it’s time to quit playin’ around and look to start settlin’ down. He ain’t a kid anymore,” Bob said.
“Nope. I’m a grown man, which is why I can decide when I settle down or not.” Jasper scooped mashed potatoes into his mouth.