Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 83586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Sutton looked down at me. “I like this.”
“I’m pretty likable.” I winked, then got serious. “Why is it so much easier for you?”
“I don’t know that it is. I mean, some, but like I said before, I’m not pushing to take out an announcement in the Ryland newspaper. But…I’ve had more time, I guess. I realized how I felt before you did, and I’ve been dealing with these feelings for longer before I acknowledged it to anyone else. I got to figure out what that meant, which led to me realizin’ I’ve always been attracted to guys too.”
I growled. “I hate those guys.”
“Every guy I think is hot?”
“Yes, and not hotter than me, right?”
He laughed. “No, not hotter than you.” He took a bite of his Danish, and a crumb dropped onto my cheek. I plucked it off and ate it before eating some of my treat. “You should talk to Sammy.”
“I’m not ready. I’m sorry. Does that hurt you?”
Sutton shook his head. “How many times do I gotta tell you that I don’t care about anything else as long as I have you?”
Damn, I would never get tired of hearing those words. They made my chest feel full. “I’m a catch.”
“You’re okay.”
We ate quietly for a moment, me still with my head in Sutton’s lap. It felt perfect there, like his legs were made to be my pillows. “I remember this one time when we were kids…fifteen maybe? I can’t remember for sure. We were tryin’ to pull an all-nighter, watchin’ horror movies. You remember that?”
Sutton smiled. “We did that a lot.”
“We did, but this time you fell asleep. We were on the couch, and your head tilted to the side and fell on my shoulder. I remember I just…I just couldn’t stop starin’ at ya. I was scared to death you’d wake up and think I was some kind of freak. But you were sleepin’ with your mouth partly open. I could hear you breathe, and your hair tickled my face. I was afraid to move because if I did, I thought you’d pull away. That night, I didn’t want you to pull away, Sutton. I wanted to run my fingers through your hair and see if it felt the same there as it did against my cheek. I might not’ve let myself acknowledge what this was or even seen it, but I’ve been feelin’ it just as long as you.”
“Shit, Jasp. I don’t think you know what you do to me.” He ran his fingers through my hair the way I was just talking about doing to him. “I thought I was gonna die that time with Miranda.”
“Fuuuuuck, me too. I felt like I was gonna throw up when I left you with her. Every time we accidentally touched, it was like my heartbeat moved to the exact place on my body where our skin met. Like everything good I was feelin’ lived right there.”
“That was the first time I wondered what that birthmark on your hip tastes like.”
“And now that you know?”
“If there’s a heaven, it’s in that exact spot.”
We sat there and talked, Sutton playing with my hair the whole time. We had so many memories together, so many moments to reminisce about.
Eventually we walked to the restaurant for dinner. We’d eaten out a million times before, and I’d never wondered if people thought we were on a date, but I did then, and while it was a little nerve-racking at first, it only took me a few minutes to be able to ignore it.
We ate, talked, and laughed the way we always did. Everything had always been fun with Sutton, but it was even more now. After Sutton paid the bill, our waiter smiled at us and said, “You guys make a good couple. I hope I have that one day.” And damned if I didn’t want to jump on the table and scream that I was in love with Sutton the way I’d done at the rental.
I wasn’t ready for the night to end, so when we walked outside, I turned to Sutton and said, “Let’s do it.”
“Do what?”
“Go to a gay bar. It’s early, but…”
“Yes. Fuck yes. I wanna go with you.” The excitement in Sutton’s voice jump-started my heart.
We sat on a bench and looked them up on his phone. There was one within walking distance, so we decided to leave the truck where it was parked and head over. I couldn’t pretend nerves weren’t like a group of angry bees in my gut, but I ignored it. We deserved this.
There was a rainbow flag out front, so there was no denying what the bar was. My feet slowed down a bit, and Sutt asked, “You sure?”
“Yeah, I am.”
We headed inside, some pop song playing that I didn’t know. I grabbed ahold of Sutton’s hand again, wanting to feel grounded by him, connected to him because that made everything in my world easier.