Total pages in book: 248
Estimated words: 236909 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1185(@200wpm)___ 948(@250wpm)___ 790(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 236909 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1185(@200wpm)___ 948(@250wpm)___ 790(@300wpm)
Whatever relief I felt at learning that it hadn’t gone further than her taking his blood was short-lived because forcing pleasure onto someone without their consent was still a violation, no matter what their history was. Blackmailing them into servicing any need was still a violation.
Closing my eyes, I kept my emotions in check because this wasn’t about me or how I felt. I pressed another kiss to the top of his hand. The backs of my eyes stung as I beat back the building rage and sorrow. I couldn’t allow any of that to take center stage. I stayed in control.
His hand tightened around mine, and a few moments passed. “Whatever skill you believe I have is pure luck because I honestly had no idea what I was doing.” He exhaled, and…gods, I wished I hadn’t said that to him. Why anyone, including me, assumed that someone without experience couldn’t give pleasure. That was so incredibly childish of me to think. “Still don’t, to be honest.”
I kissed his hand a third time.
“But Veses…she didn’t want me. She still doesn’t want me. Not really. She wants Kolis. Always has,” he said, and surprise bolted through me. “And since he’s never wanted anything to do with her, I’m the next best thing. But I also didn’t want her. It was the refusal that got her coming back. Probably the same thing with Kolis.”
I still thought that perhaps her feelings toward Ash had changed. That she had come to care for him. But gods, how could you do what she did to him to someone you cared about?
Ash curled his arm, tugging me back. Another burst of surprise rippled through me as he pulled me between his legs and against him. His chest rose sharply but fell slowly. He relaxed into me. All but his hand. His fingers remained tightly joined with mine.
“She found a way in eventually,” he finally said. “She followed me the night you were brought to the Shadow Temple. We cannot feel the presence of other Primals in the mortal realm as strongly as we can in Iliseeum. I didn’t even realize she was there until she came to the Shadowlands a few days later. She must’ve overheard enough to put two and two together, and when she was here last, she knew there would be no more times beyond that. So, she was really pushing the limits that night.”
Three years.
He had been forced to feed her for three years.
I wondered if it was possible to make someone’s death last for three years.
“I hadn’t expected her to come so soon, and I know I locked that door because I didn’t want anyone to see that. Especially you. She must’ve felt you…” He cleared his throat. “I don’t know. I should’ve told you when you asked after waking up, but I couldn’t get the words out. I just…”
“It’s okay.” I turned in his embrace, tucking my head against his shoulder. “I understand.”
“I just…I couldn’t let her do what I knew she would if I refused. That was my decision. Not yours.”
I took a deep breath, swallowing all the questions of how and why he could have decided that at a time when he didn’t know me or anything about the embers. “I wish she hadn’t put you in a situation to make that decision.”
“There are a lot of things I regret. But keeping you out of Kolis’s hands is not one of them,” he said. “And that doesn’t erase or make anything all right.” His chin brushed the top of my head. “But it’s done now.”
“It will be,” I whispered. “When she’s dead.”
He laughed, the sound rough but warm. “Bloodthirsty.”
I didn’t even try to deny it.
Ash was quiet for some time. When he spoke again, his voice was barely above a whisper. “Thank you.”
My eyes opened. “What are you thanking me for?”
“For just… Just for being you,” he said.
“I’m sure many people would not thank me just for being myself, but you’re welcome.”
“Those people should die, too.”
I laughed softly.
“Sera?”
“Yeah?”
“I wish…” His voice thick, he trailed off and then swallowed.
“What?”
Whatever Ash had been about to say was lost as he tipped my head back and brought his mouth to mine. He kissed me until the ugliness of Veses faded into the background, until any concerns or worries about what we would find in Irelone went away, and until there was no space for anything but the feel of his lips against mine. Then there was nothing more than his arms around me, holding me. Me holding him.
Nothing but this moment.
Us.
It was all that mattered.
Chapter 43
I awoke sometime later to the feel of Ash’s body through the linen shirt I’d borrowed after he’d patiently undone every single tiny button on the coronation gown.
The garment was no barrier against the hard, icy-hot press of his body, nor had it stayed in place as I slept, riding up to my hips. I knew this because absolutely nothing separated his rigid cock from the curve of my ass.