Total pages in book: 248
Estimated words: 236909 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1185(@200wpm)___ 948(@250wpm)___ 790(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 236909 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1185(@200wpm)___ 948(@250wpm)___ 790(@300wpm)
Dampness clung to my lashes as I forced myself to take a long and deep breath. I took what Aios had shared and tucked it away in the same place I’d hidden my emotions. I had to. It was the only way I could ignore the voice whispering in my thoughts.
You’re his weakness.
Aios had to be wrong. No one was without weakness.
The embers in my chest vibrated, alerting me to Nyktos’s presence. A knock sounded on the adjoining door as I hastily wiped at my cheeks. “Come in,” I called out, clearing my throat.
Light glinted off the cuff around Nyktos’s upper arm as he entered. He’d also changed, now wearing black leathers and a midnight-colored tunic tailored to his broad shoulders and lean waist. Silver brocade trimmed the collar and the chest. Something about seeing him in close to all black left me strangely uneasy.
Maybe it was because he looked different to me—more predatory than normal. Untouchable. Otherworldly.
Primal.
I rose, a little unsteady, and turned to him. He stopped, his gaze sweeping over the length of my hair brushing the curve of my hip. “Aios picked the gown,” I said, lifting my arms at my sides. “She said Kolis would likely be offended by pants or something.”
His throat worked on a swallow. “The gown is beautiful.” His chest rose with a deep, shuddering breath. “You’re beautiful.”
I took a step back, even as my foolish heart gave a happy, idiotic leap. “Don’t say that.”
That shorter strand of hair slipped over his cheek as his head tilted, and his eyes lifted to mine. “I’m sorry. It’s true.” His head straightened. A moment passed. “I know things are…different between us now.”
I almost laughed but managed to stop myself.
“But none of that can matter right now. We have to set all else aside,” he continued. “Remember how I was when Attes was here?”
“Not like I’d forget,” I muttered.
“It will be like that in Dalos,” he said. “If we behave as if we cannot stand to be in each other’s presence instead of appearing as if there is some sort of attraction between us, it will raise questions. I need to know if you’re able to handle that.”
My spine went rigid. “Do I really have a choice?”
“You were willing to pretend to be infatuated with me to seduce me, so I would think you would be willing to do the same to keep yourself alive,” he replied.
I curled my hands into fists. “I wasn’t pretending to be infatuated with you.”
Nyktos eyed me. “You weren’t pretending at all.”
The back of my neck tingled. “That wasn’t what I was saying.”
“I know, but that doesn’t change the truth of it. It was never an act. None of it.”
I sucked in a shrill breath. “Congratulations on realizing that when it’s too late,” I snapped.
Eather pulsed faintly behind his eyes. “Too late for what?”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I said nothing.
“Wanting to be my Consort? In more than title?” Nyktos drifted closer in that silent way of his. “To the people of the Shadowlands and, eventually, Iliseeum? To me?”
The embers in my chest hummed as my skin prickled, heated. “Why would you speak of this now?”
“I don’t know.” A look of genuine dismay skittered across his normally stoic features. “Because why would you want that from me—want more— when you know I’m incapable of giving you what you deserve.”
“And what is it that I deserve?”
“Someone who loves you, unconditionally and irrevocably. Someone who had the courage to allow themselves to feel that,” he said. My arms slipped free of my hold as I stared at him. He looked away, shoulders straightening. “You were sad. Before I entered the room, I could taste your sorrow. Tangy and heavy.” His gaze flicked back to mine. “When I could sense nothing from you before.”
I wasn’t surprised to hear that I had projected that strongly. “Aios told me about her time in Dalos.”
“She did?” Surprise filled his tone.
I nodded. “She was worried that I would try something to stop Kolis.”
“And does she have a reason to worry?”
She should, but… I shook my head. “I want a future—a life that I control. Not death. I want to survive this.”
“So you can finally live? Be free?”
Chest heavy, I nodded once more as I turned from him. An unseen clock ticked over our heads, and I knew we couldn’t delay this. But I also knew that if I allowed myself to feel more than what had broken through during my talk with Aios, I would also find that I was what Nyktos claimed I wasn’t. Afraid.
I rubbed my hands over my arms. “What if…what if he recognizes me as Sotoria?”
“Then there will be a war,” he said.
Heart lurching, I faced him. There had been no hesitation in his response. Not even a heartbeat. “Nyktos—”
“You do not belong to him. You do not belong to anyone,” he bit out. “If he recognizes you as Sotoria, he will try to keep you. I will not allow that to happen.”