Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 76006 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76006 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
The feelings or the retelling of the feelings? Whoa. Yeah, maybe that.
Emerson nodded weakly. “You’re pretty good at this friend thing.”
“Thanks.” Neil leaned forward with a serious expression. “The real question is, does it matter how it all came about?”
“Maybe it shouldn’t, but it absolutely does to me. I don’t want… There’s been too much…” Shit that had gone wrong in my life. He felt a sharp stitch in his chest. “What if Rhys was with me this weekend because it was familiar—because I’m familiar? Or what if he ends up freaking like he did before?” He curled his hand into a fist to match the one in his stomach. “I can’t lose him again. I just…can’t.”
Fuck, had he just confessed that out loud? Neil probably thought he was being overly dramatic, but when he looked up, Neil’s eyes held a different emotion—compassion, and a hint of sadness. Maybe he understood all too well about losing someone, and as soon as Emerson got his wits about him again, he was going to return the favor and be a listening ear too if Neil needed him. Because that was what friends did. And he could use all the friends he could get.
“Then you should take the time you need to work through your emotions.” Neil’s lips lifted in a reassuring smile. “You gave him the time. You deserve some too.”
“Fuck, thank you.”
“But then talk to him and see if you can express what you’re going through. Even if it means that all the stuff you’re afraid of comes true. You can face it, and I’ll be here if you need to talk.”
He almost hugged Neil, but that would’ve been strange, so instead he thumped his shoulder, then got back to work.
That night he tried to act normal, mostly for Audrey’s sake, but he could tell Rhys knew something was up. He could feel his gaze on him all through dinner—which was an order from their favorite Chinese restaurant, thank God—and though he wanted to smile to let him know there wasn’t a storm brewing inside him, he couldn’t muster it. He was unsettled and bummed and confused and couldn’t shake the feeling that what they’d shared had been tainted somehow, so he stayed quieter than usual. By the time Emerson had sent the kids to bed, Rhys was already waiting for him in the kitchen, his elbows braced on the counter.
“Having second thoughts? About what we did?” Rhys looked so lost and forlorn that Emerson wanted to pull him into his arms and smother his face in kisses.
But then anger ignited inside him, and he gripped the countertop, trying to hold himself together. “When were you gonna tell me?” He gave himself away by stealing a glance upstairs.
“About Audrey?” Rhys asked, and Emerson nodded, his knuckles turning white. “Fuck, I don’t know. Maybe tonight? I was just… I knew this would happen, that you would overthink things, and I…goddamn it. This weekend was just so…”
Amazing? Unbelievable? The best he’d ever had?
“Was this weekend some sort of experiment to see if your memory would return? Or maybe you were with me because I feel safe?”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Rhys looked like he’d been struck across the face, his cheeks slashed with color, and Emerson immediately felt the guilt trying to worm its way inside his blinding misery.
“Lower your voice,” Emerson hissed, hoping their conversation didn’t carry above the din of Sam’s nature music he used to lull himself to sleep every night. But even the sound of the freaking babbling brook couldn’t ease Emerson’s nerves tonight.
“So Audrey doesn’t get upset—again?” Rhys bit out. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me yourself?”
His pulse battered against his throat. “Because the hospital staff said not to overwhelm you with memories, and that’s exactly what you were afterward—overwhelmed.”
Rhys pointed an accusing finger. “That’s a fucking sorry-ass excuse.”
“Fine.” He began pacing the length of the kitchen, his hand pulling at his hair in frustration. “It’s because the way it happened between us—pre-accident—was so natural and…and incredible, and then Audrey walked in on us and it was like you snapped out of it and fucking panicked, or hell, I don’t even know…but you ran out on me. Ran right out that door, and I didn’t hear from you the next day or the day after.”
Rhys’s eyes got wide. “Em—”
“And then you went climbing, and we were gonna see each other for the first time that weekend, but then the accident happened. And when you woke up and didn’t remember what happened between us, I was fucking devastated.” All his emotions clogged his throat at once, and he nearly lost it. Nearly broke down in tears. Admitting it to Neil earlier and now to Rhys was putting him through the wringer. “And I’ve been so damned terrified that you’ll suddenly realize you don’t really want any of this again. Or that maybe what happened between us was some sort of manufactured feeling. Maybe because I’m familiar right now when your life has been turned upside down.”