Total pages in book: 20
Estimated words: 19091 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 95(@200wpm)___ 76(@250wpm)___ 64(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 19091 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 95(@200wpm)___ 76(@250wpm)___ 64(@300wpm)
Handing one to Haydyn, I smiled but couldn’t quite meet his eyes. “Happy Christmas Eve.”
“Happy Christmas Eve, Kenna.”
I shivered at the way his voice rumbled around my name and hastily took a drink.
Haydyn followed suit, his eyes widening. “This is delicious.”
“Thanks. It was my mum’s recipe.” Rounding him, I made my way over to the sofa and tucked myself into the corner, getting comfy. The Christmas tree I’d helped Michael and Haydyn decorate stood in the corner. Fairy lights glowed around the edges of the large picture window. Snow fell outside, weighing down the trees and covering the empty driveway. It was a winter wonderland. So peaceful.
I sensed Haydyn taking a seat on the couch a little farther down. We sat in perfect silence, watching the snowfall, and it was … lovely. Comfortable and lovely. For a while, I forgot to be sad about Mum and Dad.
When I was finished with my hot chocolate, I turned to Haydyn and found him watching me. I raised a questioning eyebrow.
“Are you okay? I know it’s the first anniversary of your parents’ passing in a few days.”
Pain cut through the loveliness. “Do you want the honest answer?”
“Of course.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be okay. I think some years it’ll hurt worse than others … but losing them will always be with me because when I lost them, I lost a piece of myself. But I think we can be not okay about one thing and still find happiness in another.” I gestured to the snow outside. “Hot chocolate on a perfect snowy day … it’s not too shabby.”
When I looked back at Haydyn, he stared at me in awe. “Your parents would be so proud of you, Kenna. And I’m … I’m so grateful that someone like you is in Michael’s life.”
What about your life? I felt like asking. Are you grateful for me too? Yet, I didn’t want to ruin the moment with a possible truth that might hurt.
“Let’s watch a Christmas movie,” I blurted out.
Haydyn gave me a soft smile that was far too sexy for my own good. “Sure. You pick. I’ll grab some snacks. What do you want to drink? I have a bottle of Laurent Perrier I got from my Secret Santa at work.”
Alcohol plus Haydyn. Hmm. Dangerous territory. Still, champagne was my Achilles’ heel. “Ooh, someone splashed out for Secret Santa.”
“We had a fifty-pound budget,” he explained.
“And someone at that uni knows how you spend fifty quid.”
He chuckled as he stood and took my empty mug. “A glass of champagne it is, then.”
Five
Kenna
The champagne was a bad idea. Not because I got drunk. But because the bubbly alcohol loosened me up. And when I loosened up, I suddenly thought it was a very good idea to seek out the truth and to speak it.
We’d been having a lovely afternoon and evening, considering we were both missing Michael, and I missed my parents. There was no need for dinner because we’d been munching on snacks throughout the day. Though I’d been nursing each glass of champagne, I was now on my fourth because Haydyn preferred wine to champagne, so the entire bottle was mine.
It’s a Wonderful Life played on the television, and I partly blamed the movie for making me philosophical. Truthfully, Jimmy Stewart made me question why I wasn’t forcing a confrontation with Haydyn. If I had feelings for him, why was I sitting on them? So what if he didn’t return them? If I didn’t speak up, we would never be together. And what if we were meant to be? What if Haydyn and Michael were my future and I let them slip through my fingers because I couldn’t be honest? All these questions seemed perfectly acceptable in my tipsy brain.
I waited until the movie finished because Haydyn was enjoying it.
“They don’t make actors like Jimmy Stewart now,” he observed as the film ended.
“Nor Katharine Hepburn. Or Lauren Bacall.”
He grinned at me. “That was when movie stars were movie stars.”
“Hmm,” I agreed. Just do it. Just say it. I took a breath. “Why did you stop us on Halloween?”
Haydyn blinked rapidly, clearly taken aback by my question. “Uh …”
I turned to face him fully, encouraged by Jimmy Stewart and too much champagne. “Well?”
His gaze seared into mine. “Because you were grieving. And I didn’t want to take advantage.”
My lips parted in shock. That was not what I’d expected. “You weren’t taking advantage. I knew what I was doing. I’m a grown woman, not some girl just out of school.”
Haydyn grimaced. “Grief … it can skew our feelings and emotions.”
“So you stopped because you thought you were taking advantage of me at a vulnerable time?”
“That … and you’re my son’s nanny. He cares about you, and I don’t want to jeopardize that just because you’re attractive and I haven’t gotten …” He trailed off, blanching.