Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 117177 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 586(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117177 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 586(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
“My mind is always on my crew and my tasks,” Tom elaborated. “But my love for my family and what I’ve left behind on Earth are what drives me to remain focused.”
The light bulb went off. “I’m not the only unmarried, childless astronaut who’s ever come up here, Tom.”
“No, and those men and women live and breathe being astronauts and have done so since they could say the word. You, Ortiz, considered this career late in the game in comparison. And like I said, you’re doing great. I’m thankful you’re part of my expedition . . . but I guess what I’m trying to say is that for the rest of us, this is a ride we never get off. We go back to Earth, we stay in Houston, we travel to Star City, we train for the next mission. If that’s what you see in your future too, then this conversation is moot.”
The conversation wasn’t moot.
The next mission.
It was something I hadn’t thought about, being so focused on the first one.
Surely if this was a ride I didn’t want to get off, I’d have thought about what came afterward more?
My commander gave me one of his looks that said everything without saying anything, and I watched him float by me out of node 3, now feeling a little irritated with him.
I set up the video camera, attaching it to the wall in front of the ARED machine, then I pulled the harness down and belted it around my waist. Pulling the bar and attached arms of the ARED over my head, resting the bar across my shoulders to hold me down in place, I wrapped my hands around it like it was a barbell. I paused before I started to do squats. Tom’s words rang in my ears.
Forgetting for a second that the video was recording, I exhaled heavily.
“Well . . . fuck.”
THREE
Hallie
PRESENT DAY
I had my first standoff with the PR team, Darce. To be fair, I think I’ve been pretty easygoing about the social media thing, considering if this wasn’t my job, I would never be on those platforms and posting about my life. But when NASA asked me to do it, I thought, Why not? I’m experiencing things that so few humans get to experience, and I want to share that. I want to educate people about what we do up here and do it in a way that’s fun and interesting to them. So I push myself out of my comfort zone. And guess what, I even have fun with it. NASA told me I reached over two million followers this week. Two million. That’s mind-blowing. And satisfying, and it makes me want to keep going.
But NASA wanted Tom to film my first space walk. . . . Darce, I . . . for a moment I thought I might be wrong about this—making a bigger deal out of it than it is—but I want to experience that moment. I don’t want to be thinking about thousands of people watching my reaction on Instagram. I want to be thinking about what it feels like to be in space, to have nothing but my suit between me and the stars.
Thankfully, Mission Control agreed with me. Spacewalking is dangerous; they need me focused, not thinking about entertaining people. PR was disappointed but eventually agreed. And I’m conflicted, for sure. Should I deprive people of seeing a space walk? I’m not sure I should. But should I deprive myself of true immersion in the moment? It’s like how some people can’t enjoy a vacation or a day trip somewhere new because they’re so busy thinking about capturing the perfect shot or video for their social media accounts that they miss the actual experience itself. That’s crazy to me. So I’m doing this one for myself. And Mission Control is doing it this way to keep me safe. Maybe next time. I’m astronaut first, PR vehicle second. For now, saying no is the right thing to do.
—CAPTAIN CHRISTOPHER ORTIZ, VIDEO DIARY #4
As an adopted New Yorker, I took it seriously that you never meander your way on or off the subway.
However, I was so lost in my thoughts about the man on the video—whom I had identified as Captain Christopher Ortiz, bona fide NASA astronaut—as well as my mother, internet sensation, that I wasn’t quick enough at my subway stop that morning. By that I mean, I didn’t jump off the train as fast as I should have. The crowd of people pushing to get on was doing a good job of trying to keep me on there with them, and as I shoved my way through, hopping off the train, I didn’t realize they caught my trench coat between them.
It was a rainy spring morning, and I’d left my trench open. It was a designer camel trench coat I’d gotten on sale and loved because it was lightweight but had this beautiful fullness to it that set it apart from other trench coats.