 by Nikki Ash.jpg)
Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
I lost my first love. This time, I’m going to win the second girl who owns my heart—no matter the stakes.
Being the drummer for Raging Chaos is the only thing that’s kept me going for the past six years. Even the music isn’t enough to drown out the guilt that’s been suffocating me since what happened to Tori.
When Sadie storms into my life, ripping through my trepidations, sorrows, and bitterness, I can’t help but wonder if she could be my second chance.
I could love her, but in order to do that, I have to stop hating myself first.
Easier said than done. Before I have the chance to mend this broken heart, I push Sadie away and hit rock bottom.
The next time I see her, she has a baby. And if that’s not hurtful enough, it’s not just any baby.
It’s my baby.
Sadie
Bleeding hearts can still beat. I’m living proof of that.
At first, Gage was just someone to take away the pain—until I realized he was battling demons of his own.
I never meant to get too close to the devil with the drumsticks, but once I did, he shoved me out of his life with a force.
My heart might be cracked, but his is completely broken. And trying to save him would destroy us both.
So, I do the right thing and I walk away—not only to protect me but also our unborn baby.
I had no idea who Gage was to the world when I slipped into his bed. Now that I’m out of it, it’s clear he’ll have to clean up his act before he’s father material.
But then we meet again, and I’m reminded of the man he could be.
The man he was born to be, before tragedy struck and the chaos left his heart barely beating.
*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************
PROLOGUE
GAGE
Summer
Before Senior Year
“It’s so fucking hot out,” I say, dropping into a seat outside the coffee shop where Declan and Braxton are already sitting and drinking their iced coffees. They’ve got a shit ton of papers strewn everywhere—lyrics, songs, and sheets of music—since we spend most of our time writing or playing music. When we graduate from high school in June, our goal is to get signed by Camden’s parents’ record label, Blackwood Records.
When I was little and banging on the drums my uncle bought me for Christmas, I never imagined I’d have a chance to play professionally one day. Every night, when my mom would leave for work, I’d use our neighbor’s Wi-Fi to watch YouTube videos on how to play. I never thought it’d go anywhere until I met Camden, Declan, and Braxton, who were hell-bent on starting a band and in need of a drummer. I played for them—and Camden’s dad—and learned, according to him, I was damn good, and if I stuck with them, I’d make a living one day from beating on those drums.
My thoughts go back to my uncle. He was the only decent person in my life… until he died from heart disease only a few short months before my mom died, leaving me alone in this fucking world.
“It’s too damn hot,” Declan agrees, snapping me from my thoughts as he lifts a paper and takes a look at a song Braxton wrote. “I think I saw it’s going to be in the hundreds today.” He drops the paper and takes a sip of his coffee. “Fuck, it’s too hot to work on music.”
“It’s too hot to move,” I say, wiping the sweat beading across my forehead. “Who the hell can even think in this heat?”
I’ve lived in New York my entire life, and I’m still not used to the few months a year when the heat waves come through and knock us all on our asses. Thankfully, fall and then winter will hit in a few months, and this ridiculous weather will be replaced with snow and ice. I’d take that over the humidity any day.
“You know what we should do?” Declan says, turning his phone around and showing us an image of a bunch of our classmates at the beach. I’m about to tell him he’s lost his mind when I spot one classmate in particular. Bright red hair, piercing green eyes, and the body of a damn goddess, Tori Spears is the definition of a teenage wet dream.
“I’m in,” I say without hesitation. I’ve had my eye on her for months. The only problem is, she and her best friends, Layla and Kaylee, have been on a no dating kick the past year since Layla’s boyfriend cheated on her and broke her heart. Since the school year is over and we’re about to start our senior year, I’m hoping that shit will be over, and I can slide in and take my chance.
“You don’t even like any of those assholes,” Braxton says with a laugh, reading my mind.
“I don’t need to like them to get in the water and cool down.” I stand, down the last of my iced coffee, and chuck the cup into the trash. “It’s too hot to even smoke. Fuck it, let’s go.”
Declan chuckles. “He saw Tori in the picture. He’s been eyeing that cheerleader for months.”
“Tori?” Braxton says with a laugh. “Actually, I can totally see it. She’s all cheerleader meets emo with her short skirts, black lipstick, and fishnet stockings. She’s like the least peppy cheerleader on the squad. It’s the perfect match made in hell.”
Declan nods, and I punch Braxton in the arm. “Fuck you, asshole. Let’s go.”
A couple of hours later, we arrive at the beach. The place is packed, and I almost consider turning around and going home, but then I remember home fucking sucks, and Tori’s here somewhere. After a few beats of scanning the area, I spot her, along with Kaylee and Layla, lying out in sexy as fuck bikinis surrounded by a bunch of jocks.
Layla glances up, noticing us first, followed by Kaylee and then Tori, whose gaze goes straight to me for several seconds before she turns back to her friends.
They whisper back and forth, and then a few seconds later, the three of them head our way. They’re all in tiny as hell bathing suits, but once my eyes land on Tori, she’s the only one I see. Sporting an all-black string bikini, she saunters straight over to me and wraps her arms around my neck, whispering, “Go with it,” before her lips lock with mine.
The kiss is intense as fuck. Our mouths and tongues devour each other. She tastes sweet like mint, and as our kiss deepens, the gum responsible for her flavor ends up in my mouth. When she realizes what she did, she pulls back and laughs. “I’m so sorry. That was not supposed to happen.”