Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 113880 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 569(@200wpm)___ 456(@250wpm)___ 380(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113880 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 569(@200wpm)___ 456(@250wpm)___ 380(@300wpm)
My eyes drift from her earnest face to the sand between us. Even Allie’s feet are pretty and momentarily steal my concentration. When she turns to face away from me and drops to sit on the sand crossed legged, I feel like I’ve missed my chance to object.
Lowering myself to rest on the sand with Allie at my back doesn’t feel good. I like to be able to assess a situation and now I won’t be able to observe her mannerisms and reactions to what I’m saying. So I turn so I’m facing her back instead. At least this way, she can’t see me but I can see her.
“Do you mind if I record your answers so I can take notes from them later, or I can type on my phone, but it’ll be slower?”
“Recording’s fine,” I say gruffly.
“Okay.” Allie inhales a deep breath and blows it out softly, her nerves palpable in the air around us. She fiddles with her phone and then rests it on her toned thigh. “When did you realize you were above average in size?” she says. There’s a new huskiness to her voice that takes my mind off the black knot inside me and builds an awareness of Allie that makes my cock thicken. I lick my lips and flare my nostrils as my mind screams that this is fucking stupid and ridiculous, that I should stand and walk away. But the part of me that knows walking away will disappoint Allie wins over. I don’t want to make her feel bad about her job. I don’t want to hurt her feelings in any way.
“I guess just after puberty. Comments in the locker rooms.” I pick up sand, letting it trail between my fingers as the waves form enough background noise to quieten my internal monologue a little. “My first sexual experience didn’t go so well.”
“How so?” Allie asks.
“We were sixteen, and she was a virgin. We didn’t fit.”
“Fit?”
“Yeah. She…she couldn’t take what I had to give. Width is as much of an issue as length. Sometimes more.”
“Oh…I see what you mean.” Allie sits a little straighter, the tiny bones of her spine pressing against her smooth skin. I could press kisses on each bump, and make her shiver. “So what happened?”
“She broke up with me and then the rumors started.”
“Rumors about your size?”
“Yeah.”
“Positive or negative?”
“That’s just it.” I shrug even though she can’t see the mannerism. “When people ask the question ‘does size matter?’, most people would say yes. Most guys would want a ten-inch cock. Women seem to have a fascination with size, but in my experience, it doesn’t match reality.”
“So girls were negative about it?”
“Girls were intrigued and then scared.”
“Really?”
“Really,” I tell her. “I never knew if girls really liked me or if they just wanted a chance to see what was in my pants. When I joined the military, I thought I’d get away from it, but there’s no privacy when you’re on active service, and they gave me the nickname Snake.”
“And how did that make you feel?”
I’m not a man who jokes easily. The nickname felt like a slap, but I got used to it over time. “There are a lot of people in this world living through hell. Walking around with a nickname I’d rather not have seems like a tiny drop in an ocean of problems.”
“How did it make you feel, though?” Allie emphasizes the you and I dig my fingers into the sand, clawing for the coolness beneath the top layer. Her hair moves in the wind, little tendrils shifting, and I focus on the glossiness of the strands and not on how uncomfortable I feel that she might be judging everything I say.
“It made me feel exposed. I couldn’t hide from what people knew about me…something that should be private…and I had to just accept the mixed feelings that come with it. Guys being envious and women’s fascination, which is kind of fetishistic.”
“This is interesting,” Allie says. “I wonder if it’s the same as women with big breasts.”
“Women can’t hide their breasts,” I say. “They’re just there. Whether they cover them, or show them in revealing tops, men will be aware of their size and imagine them unclothed. Men with big dicks can hide them for the most part, although wearing any kind of sweatpants can reveal more than is socially acceptable.”
“So, does that make it better or worse than women in those circumstances?”
“I couldn’t speak for someone else’s experiences.”
She makes an agreeing sound and I shift to get a little closer so I can hear her more clearly.
“And now that you’ve left the military?”
“People don’t get to leave the military. I mean, we leave, but it’s still there, all the time, every day.”
“Are you still friends with the people you were stationed with?”
“Some, and they still call me Snake. It sucks because new people think I’m shady until someone explains the reason for the name.”