Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 113880 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 569(@200wpm)___ 456(@250wpm)___ 380(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113880 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 569(@200wpm)___ 456(@250wpm)___ 380(@300wpm)
What have I done?
Stefan calls it a midlife crisis. I don’t think it’s that. Allie snuck up on me in a way that no other woman ever has before, and she stole my sense and my propriety and left me an impetuous mess capable of wrecking everything.
I’m not blaming her. Far from it. The guilt rests entirely in my court. I’m old enough to have sufficient experience to understand and deal with my weaknesses. How many opportunities did I have to simply walk away? I tried to give her a way out, but she didn’t want one. I could have excused myself once I saw the direction of the group, but I couldn’t. Hell would freeze over before I have the strength to walk away from Allie.
By the time I’ve finished packing, the rumble of voices is already traveling up the stairs. I drag my suitcase down, finding Tom, Theron, Gabe, Stefan and Russell by the door. Stefan’s eyebrows draw together when he sees me, and he steps away from the others to rest his hand on my shoulder. “You look like shit. Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”
At any other time, I would take a question like that personally, but today, I feel unsettled enough to acknowledge that his lack of confidence in me is probably on point. My hands don’t feel right. My mind is taken up with whirring through scenario after scenario that could help to rectify the situation for Allie. I’m too focused on fixing things that I don’t think I’ll be able to concentrate enough to get myself to her apartment safely.
“Maybe you should drive.”
Stefan meets my suggestion with a surprised nod. And with that, I change my mind about something else.
“Gabe, I need you and the others to stay here. I don’t think everyone should leave yet. It isn’t time.”
“What do you mean?” Theron asks.
“I just…I haven’t worked it out yet, but I want Allie to know that coming back here and being with us all again is an option.”
Gabe slicks his tongue over his teeth and his eyes darken. “I don’t think that’s something she’s ever going to want again.”
“Enjoy the place,” I tell him, not able to face his defeatism. “Order in if you need to. Whatever you want.” I slide my credit card from my wallet and hand it to him. “I’m not asking for me. I’m asking for Allie.”
Gabe studies the card in his hand like it’s an unexploded bomb and, after a beat, hands it back. “I’ll stay but I don’t need your money.” He glances at his cousin and they share an unspoken communication. “But I can’t promise the rest will.”
I guess that’s as good as I can hope for. Turning to Russell and Theron, I slide my wallet back into my pocket. “Stefan is driving. I think we should all travel together.”
“I’ll drive me and Theron,” Russell says. “I don’t like being driven, and it gives us options.”
His jaw is set, determinedly. I guess I’ll have to accept that maybe he isn’t interested in presenting a united front to Allie, and maybe it’s unfair of me to expect that he would be. Maybe Russell has his own plan for when we arrive, and that may not involve the rest of us. He’s always been a lone wolf in the group, although by the end, I thought Allie had brought him into the fold.
What am I saying? We’re not really a group, are we? Just men brought together to discuss our physical attributes. And yet, for the first time since I was in college, I feel part of something bigger and better. I didn’t realize how much I missed the camaraderie of men until I spent time in this house. I’d forgotten how good it is to live with other people.
Gabe backs away from the door, and the four of us who are leaving wheel our suitcases down to the waiting cars.
Tom follows, hanging around next to Russell’s truck as he tosses the luggage in the back. Before Russell can open his door, Tom steps forward. “Bring her back, Russell. Okay. Just bring her back.”
Russell freezes momentarily, his face taking on an openness I haven't seen before. Then Tom claps him on the shoulder and the strange spell is broken.
As Tom strides back to the house, I open the passenger door to Stefan’s car and slide into its luxurious depths.
Sensing my disquiet, Stefan sets up a playlist after tapping in Allie’s address, and we set off on our mission, which is feeling more and more like a mission impossible.
We’re half an hour into the journey when Stefan reduces the music to a quieter volume.
“I really like Allie,” he admits. His tone rises at the end, as though he’s surprised at his own feelings, which I understand totally.
“I really like her too.”